Hmmm, today I was feeling myself like a Carry Breadshow from Sex and the City, while talking with my friends during the lunch. Well, I think that it all started even from having morning coffee with my groupmate.
If to be specific and include all the details, this is what we were talking about:
Groupmate is Iranian, 32 years old and she is married. We were talking about her marriage, her husband and stuff like that. When I asked her to tell me something about her husband first thing that she said was: "He is so carrying, he is all the time protecting me and taking care about me". Well, at that moment I didn't stuck to this words so much, but when I heard them again from a friend, who is dating with the guy for 3 weeks, or something like that, I got quite confused.
Suzy, the girl with whom we had lunch, first thing that she said about her boyfriend and their relationship is that he is very carrying and he is taking some of her responsibilities on himself so that she will have time to study.
And at that moment I got confused. Why this two girls while talking about their relationship started to talk about carrying and protectiveness, why didn't they start to talk about feelings??? Don't they have them to this boyfriends/husbands? Do they want just to have a person that will take care about them, or they are searching for a person that will love them??
Of course, I understand that if you love someone you can do lot's of nice things to that person, but I'm taking right now not about that. I just wonder, why do they start talking from this point and not that he loves her so much or that she is crazy about him, no, they start to talk from rational things. Does that mean that there are no more passionate relationship in this country, life, world? People are starting to be too practical and rational even in this issue?
When I asked them this question, well, to be specific again, I asked them, where is their passion? Where is passion of relationship that should be there? She started to talk about sex. What da fuck? I didn't ask about that. This fact is once again proving the reality that people are starting to be too rational in the relationship. First association with the word passion in relationship is sex. Come on! Where is gone that desire to see each other, to be together, to share romantic moments with each other? Maybe I'm old - fashioned or a bit strange but I can see that romance can be a way of passion, it just depends how you see this two things.
When I continued this conversation about loosing passion in relationship, she replied me something like this: " I was dating with the guys that were very passionate, but they had bad job, small salary and they were irresponsible. I can't waste my time on them. Soon I will have to get married."
Crap. I don't know. This statement is looking so wrong as for me.
Well, I can understand that the guys she was dating with might be jurks, and she shouldn't spend time on them. But still, when she was talking about them she once again covered just materialistic part of life, not emotional. That's odd for me. Are you dating with the person or a bank account? Aren't you suppose in ideal case to find your soul-mate?? Of course it is an ideal, that people rarely reach, but still. Shouldn't that be a goal of each person about their personal life?
To my mind issue of carrying about each other, or males protecting their females should logically be solved if you are dating with someone that you love or at least you are passionate about. Than you don't feel it to be something so outstanding, because it is a natural flow of relationship that assume that you will have tremendous feelings about each other and you will be carrying about each other and you will try to protect each other. As well, I understand that this kind of emotional stage is passing and soon it is coming mutual respect and trust in each other and not that crazy love or passion. But it should be there! Right?
I don't know. All this conversation made me think a lot. As well, I understood that we have very different opinions about relationship issue :) But if you need someone that will care about you and will protect you and will have good work, why did you move out from your parents? Your mum can take care about you, your dad can protect you and they have jobs, so they can give you money if you need. And to realize your physical needs I think you can always find someone who can help you with that :)
I'm a bit frustrated about all this stuff.
