Year 2007. How it was

I’ve read this thing on the blog of my friend Sveta Muzychenko. She was writing essay about the year that have passed to evaluate it and to find out what she can take from it and what she can leave there. I decided to stole this idea and now you can read what is the result of my work.

Beginning of the 2007. I’ve just finished my project. Full of enthusiasm after it, no, better to say not enthusiasm but satisfaction about myself. That finally it finished. I’m not telling that I wasn’t enjoying that time, but it was very difficult time for me. I remember that with satisfaction I felt that I’m fuckingly tired and I can’t do anything more. I decided to take free time or holidays from AIESEC. Maybe it was my biggest mistake, maybe the most wise decision. I still don’t know, because my future is not really clear for myself. I took that brake and afterwards I felt that I’ve lost something and I can’t catch it. New projects came and I didn’t want to be OCP for the second time, for me it was enough. New people became OCPs and their passion wasn’t HIV/AIDS and I need to adopt to it. In sometime, maybe under the influence of all AIESEC materials and people around me I took decision to quit from project I was in. I think that all my actions were result of my previous decisions and they influenced all my next steps. Maybe if I will be in that project I could develop lot’s of competencies in myself, maybe I will get new knowledge, who knows. After it I was like a fish that is attacked I was searching for myself in all directions. I decided to pay more time to studying but then I’ve seen that I can’t do it as it was before AIESEC. I just can’t sit and study for several days learning one subject when I know that I can use that time more effectively saving the world .

I was taking part in lot’s of activities but randomly. Then it was time of elections. I remember how I was writing my manifesto during 6 hours and then I deleted everything and I needed to recover everything in 2 hours because my train to Kiev was in 3 hours . I remember how I was worrying before the election and listening to the song “Don’t worry, be happy” in the marshrutka. I remember how Nastya was looking on me when I entered the door. It was such look as- O’k now the time has come but in any case we will be friends, yeh? And I remember how I was staying near economic faculty repeating my speech and Masha Velychko came and she was my first listener. And she encouraged me to go and rock all of them. And then the moment of truth came. I went out and started, after few first questions I realized that it’s the end. I will not pass. My session of questions and answers is failed. But I need to stand there and have the face because if I will not I will dislike myself. Now when I’m sitting and thinking about that situation I understand if Nastya was there I could feel myself more comfortable. But she wasn’t there. Then results of the procedure believe or nor believe were announced. I didn’t pass. It was unpleasant but not surprising. Because I can read people decision on their faces. I remember how Pupsik was talking with me while we were smoking in one yard : I understand how you are feeling now but you need to find something to do as soon as possible to forget this situation. Work can heal. And I remember how Lara and Rita came to me and they say that they respect me. It worth a lot. Elections were over and we had 8 fantastic individuals that will rock the house!!!!!! They are still doing it, but some of them were changed. Many people are asking me why, she left AIESEC? The only answer- changes in priorities. That something had changed in me but I didn’t get that at the beginning. Then it was Ivana Kupala. My amazing team: Uliana, Anya, Slavik. It was great! When you see eyes of delegates that are catching your every word because half of them are interns and they see something like that for the first time. I remember fire that we were jumping through with Shpikulov, I remember bear party in OC room till 6 a.m. and when at 8 a.m. you need to wake up and prepare food for everyone.
And I can’t forget him. He was strange, mysterious, funny and smiling all the time. Thank you for that time that we’ve spent together!!!! Afterwards I had Donetsk staying and lot’s of funny situations with them.

After having such working time I took some time for myself and I went sightseeing. Lviv-Kiev-Mozyr-Dnipro-Kiev-Lviv-Belgrade-Nis-Belgrade-Lviv. I will never forget attention of my relatives in Byelorussia. I haven’t seen them for 10 years and they were loving me all that time and I couldn’t feel that love because of parents mistake. I opened world of my young sister, I finally met with my brother. It was unforgettable time. I was crying when I need to leave that country, that city, those emotions. Then it was Kiev. And another surprise was waiting for me there. My aunt met me in a very worm way. I couldn’t even expect that. I enjoyed several hours that I had with them.
Afterwards I can remember fucking train to Dnipro. I think that trams are going faster then that train.

5 a.m. railway station and he is waiting for me. This is what I was waiting. Nice kitchen, funny magnets( I like this one- Or me or my flat can look pretty) . How he is cooking!!!!!!! I never tried omelet that was taster then that one. And I get what I wanted- I get excursion around Dnipro, I saw river, I went to the island through big bridge, I eat sushi ))))))))
From my face is wasn’t seen how much I was enjoying it. 

I’ve seen sunset from the 14th floor and I drank beer there. Amazing. Then we were running to see his father. What a man!!!!! How much he loves his family and especially his wife. It is so rare situation nowadays. I will always remember that night and those feelings.

Afterwards was something very quick. Trip to Kiev and back home, staying some time home and then once again trip. This time to Srbija. Before this lovely country I've met my cousin, that I haven't seen for 10 years, hope not see her for 10 next years 
Ah, Srbija!!!!!!!!!!! Amazing country!!!!! Strange, unique, outstanding, beautiful. I can't find proper words that can show all my emotions about this country. As you know, we are judging country because of people that are representing it. I've met incredible people there. All of them were sooooo caring, so careful, so political correct 
I remember my first day in Nis. 50C. Sun that was not shining, it was burning, and long trip to Milena house. I thought that I will due there. For me several things were different to my country: people that were looking on us as at something unreal, when my friend and I were wearing nice dresses in the evening, when we were going to the club, openness of those people and there tasty food, that you can eat everywhere and you can stop worrying that you can get some infection. I would like to say BIG-BIG-BIG thanks to my FRIEND Milena. Thank you for your care, thank you for your love and thank you for everything that you've done for us. When you will come to Ukraine I will pay you back with all my love to you and to your country.
I would like to thank our lovely host in Belgrade- Marjan and our lovely guide Steva!!!! Thank you guys for everything.

Ah, then I had several months of WORK, WORK, WORK. My project came and I failed. To my mind, everything that is happening with us have some meaning and some reason. Maybe this situation was showing me that I need to check my priorities in life Still I'm not regretting about my decisions.
And then Adaptation Camp came. It was the best conference. It was outstanding team of faci, that was created, united and inspired by our lovely conference manager, our BITCH. Without Christie this conference couldn't exist. HoneyCo WEST 2007 will be always in my heart. Thnak you guys for it!!!!!!!!
And for me this conference was special not only because of faci, but because of OCP ))))))))
I fall in love, what can I say more? It was strange feeling. Unknown because of different cultures, all the time not understood by other but at the same time sooooooooooooo passionate. I think that I've never had such big passion in the relations. For me it was month of complete happiness. You know, wise people say: if you can say why you love this person it is already not love. For me it was real love and real happiness. And then it gone. Gone and I couldn't change the situation. This relations taught me a lot. Now I'm stronger, maybe wiser, maybe not but changed for sure.
This year I had the best birthday ever!!!!! I had 22-24 people in my flat. I was celebrating it with my friends, with my beloved guy and with my AIESECers!!!!! Only one person wasn't there- my best friend-my Ka4e4ka. But she was spiritually with us. This celebration will stay in my heart and in my memories.

And now I entered year 2008. With new ambitious, new desires and new aims. And I will achieve them because I believe in my potential.