ठुर्स्दय mood

I don´t know what is going on with this blog, but sometimes it just strat to write in Hindi or in Punjab, I can´t distinguish them. So, the topic of my post is Thursday mood and not that something that appeared up there :)
I don´t know what is going on with me. Today or even few last days I feel myself weird. I know that I need to work hard and persisitant to achieve few goals that are in front of me and I´m really doing that, but nothing happens. I don´t see results that I´m expecting. Things are not going in the way they are planed.
I´m working sooooo hard on my work and I´m not getting that fucking information. I´m doing my best inpreparation for that damn GRE and I have low score!!!!
What is the matter with me? I don´t want to hear that it is diminishion law, because I don´t believe in it and I knwo that all in this life is depending on person. If I don´t want to get up at 8 and I´m not doing that, I´m responsible for being late for the work. That´s why I´m sitting their additional hour or even two. Because I feel responsible about every fucking thing that I´m doing in this life. And I know that right now I´m working hard and I want to see results of that work, because in other case what is the purpose of my work, my preparation for GRE????? I want to see the results!!!!!

And there is one more thing that is disturbing me for a few days. Í was thinking a lot about the relationship and why I´m can´t find my second half or whatever. And today I realized. That maybe I´m trying to see that second half in every guy that I´m considering attractive for myself? And I´m not talking now about the appearence, because it is not that much important for me, I´m talking about attractiveness in general.
Probably I need to be more accurate in my choices, as well I need to control my behaviour at least at some exceptable standarts.