I don't know what is going on. I constantly feel that I'm SHIT. Complete and full. I don't see any progree in marks, attitude, desires achievments.
I know that everyone are telling that I already did a great job that I'm only 21 and I already study with PhD students and who knows, maybe soon I will be among them. They say that I'm so young and I already manage my life. Without support of family, relatives and other possible supporters (brothers, sisters, husbands). I know that they are saying that I'm so young and I already received Fulbright scholarship to come here, to US. I know all of that. But it still doesn't make me feel better.
Professor, with whome I'm working now is thinking that I'm probably dumb-dumb. He is not talking with me about my projects, not discussing the follow up even when I directly ask about this. He is troubleshooting my own project with other guy. It hurts even more, because I was standing next to him, when he was doing this. Yes, I know it sounds childishly, but my pride is hurt. I'm not so stupid. I can give smart answers....
Today I came to the exam and I knew almost all questions. I was surprised with this. My personal estimation is already so low, that I don't know how it can be even lower. And I know what you will say: If you do not estimate yourself, no one else will do it for you. I know. But this feeling is already there.
Maybe I'm just tired. This exams are killing me. Maybe, I will go back home, rest for a month and everything will be better? I will believe in myself again?? I do hope for that. Because this shitty feeling is killing me.
And this absence. Absence of essential people. People that work like heaters for your soul. Someone whome you can call and you don't need to say anything he/she will understand you without words and will just tell you to come to his/her place for a cup of tea/coffee/shot of vodka/bottle of beer. I miss those people, that were like angels...
Today I went from exam and I wanted to shout. My brain was in coma and there was no one to understand my condition. So, I just went home to sleep. I'm not saying that I don't have "friends" here. They are. But they are more like people whome I know and not friends...
I need to release stress. As Fern says, there are just two ways to release stress: to have sex, or to go to the gym. I have third solutions: to get drunk.
This Friday I'm drinking...
четверг, 10 декабря 2009 г.
понедельник, 23 ноября 2009 г.
Сдача екзаменов в США
Я просто не могу не написать про ЭТО :)))
Значит первое и самое важное, это то, что тут НИКТО, совершенно НИКТО не СПИСЫВАЕТ!!!!!
При чем это я серйзно! И тут не списывают не потому что профессор может увидеть, а потому что тут на тебя пойдут и настукачат твои же собратья студенты :((( Вот такая вот правда жизни.
Здесть просто все неимоверно помешаны на равности. Они считают, что если он списывает, то почему я не могу получить такое же право. Капец, да если ты лапух и не умеешь списывать, то кто тебе в этом виноват. Зачем же ближнего сдавать??? Кароче, никакого тим спирита нет!!!
Далее, тебе никто ничего не подскажет. Даже твои друзья. Дело в том, что когда вы сдаете экзамен, то вы перестаете быть друзьями. Вы становитесь просто соперниками в получении высшего бала. И это нормально. Никто не париться по-поводу того, что "а что он теперь он\она обо мне думает, ведь я не дал\дала ему списать". А они ничего не думают, а просто пишут свою работу. Вот и все.
Каждый профессор выносит на экзамен вопросы согласно своим лекциям. Здесь нет такого что один проф читает весь курс. Нет, здесь профессоры читают лекции согласно тому, какой научной деятельностью они занимаються. Вот изучает они например свойства оксида азота, вот и читает он лекции про него, ну или что-то с ним связаное. И согласно тому, сколько проф читал лекций или насколько они были важны в рамках данного курса столько вопросов у него и будет.
На этом екзамене у меня было 26 вопрос. Экзамен писали 3 часа 40 мин.
Ну как вам сказать, после экзамены я уже вышла ни живая, ни мертвая.
А вот еще. Так как тут все стукачать друг на друга, то тут профессору не обязательно присутствовать во время экзамена, ну или по крайней мере быть там все время.
Вот например на прошлом экзамене. Приходит проф, раздал всем вопросы. Посмотрел,что мы начали писать и что на данный момент у нас нет вопросов, встает и говорит: " Ну ладно, я вам доверяю, скоро буду". И выходит. Вы думаете, что хоть кто-нибудь шелохнулся за шпорой/книжкой/конспектами??? Да ни одна зараза даже не шелохнулась. Представляете??? У меня же просто руки так и чесались достать домашние работы, потому что у нас был вопрос по ним, а я никак не могла вспомнить про какое именно нужно писать.
Мне кажеться, что некоторые из нас даже и не заметили, что он ушел настолько они были поглощены написанием своих ответов.
И это еще не все.
Когда значит проф пришел, он принес нам огромный контейнер кофэи 2 больших упаковки пончиков. Вы такое себе можете представить в Украине??? Чтобы тебе профессор принес кофэ и пончики?? Так вот, он это все принес и говорит: " Налетайте, а то у вас уровень глюкозы слишком низкий и вы плохо думаете, а я хочу чтобы вы хорошо сдали, так что быстренько, налетайте!!! " У меня просто челюсть отвисла от такого :))))
Вот в такой милой и душевной атмосфере мы пишем экзамены :))))
Значит первое и самое важное, это то, что тут НИКТО, совершенно НИКТО не СПИСЫВАЕТ!!!!!
При чем это я серйзно! И тут не списывают не потому что профессор может увидеть, а потому что тут на тебя пойдут и настукачат твои же собратья студенты :((( Вот такая вот правда жизни.
Здесть просто все неимоверно помешаны на равности. Они считают, что если он списывает, то почему я не могу получить такое же право. Капец, да если ты лапух и не умеешь списывать, то кто тебе в этом виноват. Зачем же ближнего сдавать??? Кароче, никакого тим спирита нет!!!
Далее, тебе никто ничего не подскажет. Даже твои друзья. Дело в том, что когда вы сдаете экзамен, то вы перестаете быть друзьями. Вы становитесь просто соперниками в получении высшего бала. И это нормально. Никто не париться по-поводу того, что "а что он теперь он\она обо мне думает, ведь я не дал\дала ему списать". А они ничего не думают, а просто пишут свою работу. Вот и все.
Каждый профессор выносит на экзамен вопросы согласно своим лекциям. Здесь нет такого что один проф читает весь курс. Нет, здесь профессоры читают лекции согласно тому, какой научной деятельностью они занимаються. Вот изучает они например свойства оксида азота, вот и читает он лекции про него, ну или что-то с ним связаное. И согласно тому, сколько проф читал лекций или насколько они были важны в рамках данного курса столько вопросов у него и будет.
На этом екзамене у меня было 26 вопрос. Экзамен писали 3 часа 40 мин.
Ну как вам сказать, после экзамены я уже вышла ни живая, ни мертвая.
А вот еще. Так как тут все стукачать друг на друга, то тут профессору не обязательно присутствовать во время экзамена, ну или по крайней мере быть там все время.
Вот например на прошлом экзамене. Приходит проф, раздал всем вопросы. Посмотрел,что мы начали писать и что на данный момент у нас нет вопросов, встает и говорит: " Ну ладно, я вам доверяю, скоро буду". И выходит. Вы думаете, что хоть кто-нибудь шелохнулся за шпорой/книжкой/конспектами??? Да ни одна зараза даже не шелохнулась. Представляете??? У меня же просто руки так и чесались достать домашние работы, потому что у нас был вопрос по ним, а я никак не могла вспомнить про какое именно нужно писать.
Мне кажеться, что некоторые из нас даже и не заметили, что он ушел настолько они были поглощены написанием своих ответов.
И это еще не все.
Когда значит проф пришел, он принес нам огромный контейнер кофэи 2 больших упаковки пончиков. Вы такое себе можете представить в Украине??? Чтобы тебе профессор принес кофэ и пончики?? Так вот, он это все принес и говорит: " Налетайте, а то у вас уровень глюкозы слишком низкий и вы плохо думаете, а я хочу чтобы вы хорошо сдали, так что быстренько, налетайте!!! " У меня просто челюсть отвисла от такого :))))
Вот в такой милой и душевной атмосфере мы пишем экзамены :))))
суббота, 3 октября 2009 г.
Relationship
Hmmm, today I was feeling myself like a Carry Breadshow from Sex and the City, while talking with my friends during the lunch. Well, I think that it all started even from having morning coffee with my groupmate.
If to be specific and include all the details, this is what we were talking about:
Groupmate is Iranian, 32 years old and she is married. We were talking about her marriage, her husband and stuff like that. When I asked her to tell me something about her husband first thing that she said was: "He is so carrying, he is all the time protecting me and taking care about me". Well, at that moment I didn't stuck to this words so much, but when I heard them again from a friend, who is dating with the guy for 3 weeks, or something like that, I got quite confused.
Suzy, the girl with whom we had lunch, first thing that she said about her boyfriend and their relationship is that he is very carrying and he is taking some of her responsibilities on himself so that she will have time to study.
And at that moment I got confused. Why this two girls while talking about their relationship started to talk about carrying and protectiveness, why didn't they start to talk about feelings??? Don't they have them to this boyfriends/husbands? Do they want just to have a person that will take care about them, or they are searching for a person that will love them??
Of course, I understand that if you love someone you can do lot's of nice things to that person, but I'm taking right now not about that. I just wonder, why do they start talking from this point and not that he loves her so much or that she is crazy about him, no, they start to talk from rational things. Does that mean that there are no more passionate relationship in this country, life, world? People are starting to be too practical and rational even in this issue?
When I asked them this question, well, to be specific again, I asked them, where is their passion? Where is passion of relationship that should be there? She started to talk about sex. What da fuck? I didn't ask about that. This fact is once again proving the reality that people are starting to be too rational in the relationship. First association with the word passion in relationship is sex. Come on! Where is gone that desire to see each other, to be together, to share romantic moments with each other? Maybe I'm old - fashioned or a bit strange but I can see that romance can be a way of passion, it just depends how you see this two things.
When I continued this conversation about loosing passion in relationship, she replied me something like this: " I was dating with the guys that were very passionate, but they had bad job, small salary and they were irresponsible. I can't waste my time on them. Soon I will have to get married."
Crap. I don't know. This statement is looking so wrong as for me.
Well, I can understand that the guys she was dating with might be jurks, and she shouldn't spend time on them. But still, when she was talking about them she once again covered just materialistic part of life, not emotional. That's odd for me. Are you dating with the person or a bank account? Aren't you suppose in ideal case to find your soul-mate?? Of course it is an ideal, that people rarely reach, but still. Shouldn't that be a goal of each person about their personal life?
To my mind issue of carrying about each other, or males protecting their females should logically be solved if you are dating with someone that you love or at least you are passionate about. Than you don't feel it to be something so outstanding, because it is a natural flow of relationship that assume that you will have tremendous feelings about each other and you will be carrying about each other and you will try to protect each other. As well, I understand that this kind of emotional stage is passing and soon it is coming mutual respect and trust in each other and not that crazy love or passion. But it should be there! Right?
I don't know. All this conversation made me think a lot. As well, I understood that we have very different opinions about relationship issue :) But if you need someone that will care about you and will protect you and will have good work, why did you move out from your parents? Your mum can take care about you, your dad can protect you and they have jobs, so they can give you money if you need. And to realize your physical needs I think you can always find someone who can help you with that :)
I'm a bit frustrated about all this stuff.
If to be specific and include all the details, this is what we were talking about:
Groupmate is Iranian, 32 years old and she is married. We were talking about her marriage, her husband and stuff like that. When I asked her to tell me something about her husband first thing that she said was: "He is so carrying, he is all the time protecting me and taking care about me". Well, at that moment I didn't stuck to this words so much, but when I heard them again from a friend, who is dating with the guy for 3 weeks, or something like that, I got quite confused.
Suzy, the girl with whom we had lunch, first thing that she said about her boyfriend and their relationship is that he is very carrying and he is taking some of her responsibilities on himself so that she will have time to study.
And at that moment I got confused. Why this two girls while talking about their relationship started to talk about carrying and protectiveness, why didn't they start to talk about feelings??? Don't they have them to this boyfriends/husbands? Do they want just to have a person that will take care about them, or they are searching for a person that will love them??
Of course, I understand that if you love someone you can do lot's of nice things to that person, but I'm taking right now not about that. I just wonder, why do they start talking from this point and not that he loves her so much or that she is crazy about him, no, they start to talk from rational things. Does that mean that there are no more passionate relationship in this country, life, world? People are starting to be too practical and rational even in this issue?
When I asked them this question, well, to be specific again, I asked them, where is their passion? Where is passion of relationship that should be there? She started to talk about sex. What da fuck? I didn't ask about that. This fact is once again proving the reality that people are starting to be too rational in the relationship. First association with the word passion in relationship is sex. Come on! Where is gone that desire to see each other, to be together, to share romantic moments with each other? Maybe I'm old - fashioned or a bit strange but I can see that romance can be a way of passion, it just depends how you see this two things.
When I continued this conversation about loosing passion in relationship, she replied me something like this: " I was dating with the guys that were very passionate, but they had bad job, small salary and they were irresponsible. I can't waste my time on them. Soon I will have to get married."
Crap. I don't know. This statement is looking so wrong as for me.
Well, I can understand that the guys she was dating with might be jurks, and she shouldn't spend time on them. But still, when she was talking about them she once again covered just materialistic part of life, not emotional. That's odd for me. Are you dating with the person or a bank account? Aren't you suppose in ideal case to find your soul-mate?? Of course it is an ideal, that people rarely reach, but still. Shouldn't that be a goal of each person about their personal life?
To my mind issue of carrying about each other, or males protecting their females should logically be solved if you are dating with someone that you love or at least you are passionate about. Than you don't feel it to be something so outstanding, because it is a natural flow of relationship that assume that you will have tremendous feelings about each other and you will be carrying about each other and you will try to protect each other. As well, I understand that this kind of emotional stage is passing and soon it is coming mutual respect and trust in each other and not that crazy love or passion. But it should be there! Right?
I don't know. All this conversation made me think a lot. As well, I understood that we have very different opinions about relationship issue :) But if you need someone that will care about you and will protect you and will have good work, why did you move out from your parents? Your mum can take care about you, your dad can protect you and they have jobs, so they can give you money if you need. And to realize your physical needs I think you can always find someone who can help you with that :)
I'm a bit frustrated about all this stuff.
вторник, 22 сентября 2009 г.
Листи з дому.
Сьогодні отримала листи від найдорожчих у цьому світі для мене людей. Мами, бабці, дідуся, Насті і Маряни.
Я вам так вдячна! Ви навіть не можете собі цявити наскільки! Справді. Для мене немає нічого дорожче цих листів. Ні гроші, ні сила, ні відзнаки не зможуть привнести в моє життя більше чим ці листи.
Вони є свідченням того, що я живу. Свідченням того, що десь там, за тисячі кіломметрів звідси є Ви, МОЇ ЛЮДИ. Мої кохані люди.Мої найдорожчі, мої найкраші.
Дідусь і бабця точно не зможуть прочитати цього блогу, тому свої подальші слова я напишу їм вже в листі, може прочитає мама, але я краще скажу їй це в особистому спілкуванні по скайпу. Я пишу це для Насті і Маряни.
Для Маряни:
Солодка, ти найкращий мотиватор для мене, як тоді коли я була в Індії так і тепер. Твої листи вміщають стільки підтримки, любові і теплоти, що Титанам просто і не снилось.
Дякую тобі за них!
Знай, я не підведу. Я і надалі буду залишатись собою - із заразним сміхом, з розмовами про мужиків (от тільки знайду тут когось достойного так і почну про нього говорити :)) ), зі своїм властивим лексиконом і зі своїми міцними обіймами!
І ше я не збираюсь мінятись через обставини. Я зможу знайти свій баланс навчання/відпочинку, тому що це Я, ну і тому, що тобі просто не буде з кого брати приклад, якщо я цього не зроблю :)) Тільки дай мені трошки часу і я це зроблю! Я обіцяю.
Одне попрошу, залишайся зі мною, і періодично нагадуй мені про це! Ти ж знаєш мою легковажну натуру :)))
Для Насті:
Цей лист - те, що я очікувала від тебе тоді і те, чого я чекала зараз. Дякую. Він переповнений любовю, наснагою і пристрастю - до роботи, життя, хлопця, мене :))
Ти неповторна і тому настільки важлива для мене.
Продовжую тему маленьких дівчат. Я думаю, що наш з тобою процес дорослішання вже майже завершений. Якщо ми чітко усвідомлюємо те, що вони (дівчатка) вже майже відійшли від нас, значить що вже скоро станемо зовсім дорослими. Знаєш, напевно зараз треба зробити наступний крок - подружитись з тією дитиною всередині нас і почати будувати нові, повномірні стосунки! Тоді не буде отого суму, який періодично може виникати ( і не затримуватись :) )
А ще я дуже за тебе рада. Це не прості, типові слова. Це слова від щирого серця. Це слова найкращої подруги. Я рада і я щаслива за тебе. І я двічі по тричі постукала за тебе :))
А ще я зрозуміла, що не хочу жити тут. Тут я не відчуваю своєї приналежності. Не має такого відчуття дому, чи хоча би натяку на те, що я можу його тут заснувати. Звичайно, все може змінитись, я закохаюсь, одружусь і для мене тут буде рай, але шось мало вірогідно. Напвено я занадто добре себе знаю.
Деякий час назад я сказала мамі, що напевно би змогла тут залишитись і відразу відчула якийсь сум в серці. Одночасно з ним, відчула сум в маминому голосі. Я не хочу сумувати сама і не хочу щоб сумували мої близькі. Я хочу бути поруч з ними.
З ними всіма!
Я вам так вдячна! Ви навіть не можете собі цявити наскільки! Справді. Для мене немає нічого дорожче цих листів. Ні гроші, ні сила, ні відзнаки не зможуть привнести в моє життя більше чим ці листи.
Вони є свідченням того, що я живу. Свідченням того, що десь там, за тисячі кіломметрів звідси є Ви, МОЇ ЛЮДИ. Мої кохані люди.Мої найдорожчі, мої найкраші.
Дідусь і бабця точно не зможуть прочитати цього блогу, тому свої подальші слова я напишу їм вже в листі, може прочитає мама, але я краще скажу їй це в особистому спілкуванні по скайпу. Я пишу це для Насті і Маряни.
Для Маряни:
Солодка, ти найкращий мотиватор для мене, як тоді коли я була в Індії так і тепер. Твої листи вміщають стільки підтримки, любові і теплоти, що Титанам просто і не снилось.
Дякую тобі за них!
Знай, я не підведу. Я і надалі буду залишатись собою - із заразним сміхом, з розмовами про мужиків (от тільки знайду тут когось достойного так і почну про нього говорити :)) ), зі своїм властивим лексиконом і зі своїми міцними обіймами!
І ше я не збираюсь мінятись через обставини. Я зможу знайти свій баланс навчання/відпочинку, тому що це Я, ну і тому, що тобі просто не буде з кого брати приклад, якщо я цього не зроблю :)) Тільки дай мені трошки часу і я це зроблю! Я обіцяю.
Одне попрошу, залишайся зі мною, і періодично нагадуй мені про це! Ти ж знаєш мою легковажну натуру :)))
Для Насті:
Цей лист - те, що я очікувала від тебе тоді і те, чого я чекала зараз. Дякую. Він переповнений любовю, наснагою і пристрастю - до роботи, життя, хлопця, мене :))
Ти неповторна і тому настільки важлива для мене.
Продовжую тему маленьких дівчат. Я думаю, що наш з тобою процес дорослішання вже майже завершений. Якщо ми чітко усвідомлюємо те, що вони (дівчатка) вже майже відійшли від нас, значить що вже скоро станемо зовсім дорослими. Знаєш, напевно зараз треба зробити наступний крок - подружитись з тією дитиною всередині нас і почати будувати нові, повномірні стосунки! Тоді не буде отого суму, який періодично може виникати ( і не затримуватись :) )
А ще я дуже за тебе рада. Це не прості, типові слова. Це слова від щирого серця. Це слова найкращої подруги. Я рада і я щаслива за тебе. І я двічі по тричі постукала за тебе :))
А ще я зрозуміла, що не хочу жити тут. Тут я не відчуваю своєї приналежності. Не має такого відчуття дому, чи хоча би натяку на те, що я можу його тут заснувати. Звичайно, все може змінитись, я закохаюсь, одружусь і для мене тут буде рай, але шось мало вірогідно. Напвено я занадто добре себе знаю.
Деякий час назад я сказала мамі, що напевно би змогла тут залишитись і відразу відчула якийсь сум в серці. Одночасно з ним, відчула сум в маминому голосі. Я не хочу сумувати сама і не хочу щоб сумували мої близькі. Я хочу бути поруч з ними.
З ними всіма!
суббота, 19 сентября 2009 г.
My laboratory work :)
Well, I don't have anything specific to write here, I just have some time before my experiment will be ready in incubator :) And finally cancer cells that I'm working with will be in proper state :)
Well, yes, I'm working in the lab that is dealing with NO effect on breast cancer cells. I think that when you will hear someone saying free radical first thing that will appear in your mind - oh, they are harmful for skin and other organs (at least I thought like that at the beginning, probably too much TV advertisement is in my mind :))) ) So, it is one side of the coin and from another side lies something not discovered or even never thought about :) It is positive effect of NO, it can protect cells. So, in this lab we want to find out how NO is working inside of our body, maybe it will have high efficacy against cancer and it will be m=new revolutionary treatment of it or maybe simply it have such a big protective effect that it can positively influence normal, non cancer cells in our organism and we can be protected from cancer? Who knows? That's why we are here :) We want to know the truth :))))
My work here was quite simple at the beginning - maintaining cells alive :) It was fun, working with cool stuff, like different pippets, wearing gloves, see, it's fun :))) And then I started to be even more important member in the lab, I ran my own first half practical half scientific experiment.
Well, I though that I totally screw it up. I don't know why. Just like that, only :) Because I thought that my hands are growing not for proper place to make everything properly and according to all standards, well you know all this crap :)
So, I though that I was just simply practicing how to do all that experiment stuff :)
So, I didn't care that much about results, I wanted just to learn how to do that :)
Well, after finishing of the experiment I was happy that finally this disaster finished, so my mentor in lab - Sumit is saying to me next morning - Professor Thomas was happy with your results! I said: "Really? What did he say about it?" He: "Well, nothing special, just like that" I: "Ok, cool"
In the evening, I'm working in the lab and my professor is coming and saying to me: "Well girl, you are lucky one!" I;"Why? What happened?" He: "You just coming to this lab and already becoming famous!" I said: "Ok, it is great, but at least tell me how did it happen?" He: " See, this is a paper about protein that you were working with, so in 2008 there was a hypothesis, that this protein might be effected by NO and with your experiment you proved it!"
Guys, can you imagine me, staying in front of the professor with my mouth opened and filling that I'm a part of something BIG, really BIG, that is called SCIENCE!!!!!
And at that moment damn motivation came to me! Really, I don't know even how to describe that feeling, it is like a passion, that is coming from inside.
No, it is totally fine for me to stay in the lab for 10 hours, working like a slave here, with lot's of patience, lot's of motivation and desire to do something outstanding, on the other hand I still have lot's of studying, lot's of it, but I'm happy, I know that I can do that with persistent work in this direction.
So, now I'm still seating in my lab, waiting 5 more minutes and starting DOING BIG :)
Hugs :)
Well, yes, I'm working in the lab that is dealing with NO effect on breast cancer cells. I think that when you will hear someone saying free radical first thing that will appear in your mind - oh, they are harmful for skin and other organs (at least I thought like that at the beginning, probably too much TV advertisement is in my mind :))) ) So, it is one side of the coin and from another side lies something not discovered or even never thought about :) It is positive effect of NO, it can protect cells. So, in this lab we want to find out how NO is working inside of our body, maybe it will have high efficacy against cancer and it will be m=new revolutionary treatment of it or maybe simply it have such a big protective effect that it can positively influence normal, non cancer cells in our organism and we can be protected from cancer? Who knows? That's why we are here :) We want to know the truth :))))
My work here was quite simple at the beginning - maintaining cells alive :) It was fun, working with cool stuff, like different pippets, wearing gloves, see, it's fun :))) And then I started to be even more important member in the lab, I ran my own first half practical half scientific experiment.
Well, I though that I totally screw it up. I don't know why. Just like that, only :) Because I thought that my hands are growing not for proper place to make everything properly and according to all standards, well you know all this crap :)
So, I though that I was just simply practicing how to do all that experiment stuff :)
So, I didn't care that much about results, I wanted just to learn how to do that :)
Well, after finishing of the experiment I was happy that finally this disaster finished, so my mentor in lab - Sumit is saying to me next morning - Professor Thomas was happy with your results! I said: "Really? What did he say about it?" He: "Well, nothing special, just like that" I: "Ok, cool"
In the evening, I'm working in the lab and my professor is coming and saying to me: "Well girl, you are lucky one!" I;"Why? What happened?" He: "You just coming to this lab and already becoming famous!" I said: "Ok, it is great, but at least tell me how did it happen?" He: " See, this is a paper about protein that you were working with, so in 2008 there was a hypothesis, that this protein might be effected by NO and with your experiment you proved it!"
Guys, can you imagine me, staying in front of the professor with my mouth opened and filling that I'm a part of something BIG, really BIG, that is called SCIENCE!!!!!
And at that moment damn motivation came to me! Really, I don't know even how to describe that feeling, it is like a passion, that is coming from inside.
No, it is totally fine for me to stay in the lab for 10 hours, working like a slave here, with lot's of patience, lot's of motivation and desire to do something outstanding, on the other hand I still have lot's of studying, lot's of it, but I'm happy, I know that I can do that with persistent work in this direction.
So, now I'm still seating in my lab, waiting 5 more minutes and starting DOING BIG :)
Hugs :)
вторник, 15 сентября 2009 г.
Маленькая девочка
Ребята, а вы не видели, здесь не пробегала такая маленькая девочка с кучерявыми волосами? Нет? Ну как же? У нее такой озорной смех,что его просто невозможно пропустить. Она умеет улыбаться тогда,когда улыбаться просто не от чего.
Ну моежт быть это поможет вам вспомнить ее: Она любит помогать другим и никогда не оставит друга в беде, она умеет поднять настроение всем, кому сейчас грустно. Она конечно тоже умеет впадать в меланхолию, но слава Богу не надолго. Она знает как найти выход из любой ситуации, даже из откровенной жопы. Хоть она и маленькая, но очень любит всякие нехорошие слова :0 У нее конечно есть еще парочка плохих привычек, но кто из нас не без греха? :)
А еще знаете,Она умеет видеть в серых красках дождя определенную красоту. Вы точно ее не встречали? Точно?
Она знает, что вокруг нее столько красок и столько всего еще не открытого и столько всего не изученного, что она не перестаеь удивляться, когда в который раз это находит. Каждый день она ищет для себя что-то новое и что-то интересно и она НИКОГДА, ребята, честное слово, НИКОГДА не перестает удивляться жизни и что самое главное это что-то, что она видит каждый день всегда приятное.
Она не всегда хочет смотреть реалистично на жизнь,но что пожелаешь, просто так ей легче жить в жтом грубом мире. Так намного легче.
Знаете, я тоже перестаю ее видеть утром в зеркале. И мне это совершенно не нравиться. Ведь мы с ней уже так давно дружим. 2 ноября будет уже 21 год как никак. А это на самом деле много. Я не хочу завтра проснуться и не уведеть ее рядом со мной в зеркале.
Сложно.
Подскажите как ее найти и снова вернуть в мою жизнь!!!!!! Очень нужно. Честно...
Ну моежт быть это поможет вам вспомнить ее: Она любит помогать другим и никогда не оставит друга в беде, она умеет поднять настроение всем, кому сейчас грустно. Она конечно тоже умеет впадать в меланхолию, но слава Богу не надолго. Она знает как найти выход из любой ситуации, даже из откровенной жопы. Хоть она и маленькая, но очень любит всякие нехорошие слова :0 У нее конечно есть еще парочка плохих привычек, но кто из нас не без греха? :)
А еще знаете,Она умеет видеть в серых красках дождя определенную красоту. Вы точно ее не встречали? Точно?
Она знает, что вокруг нее столько красок и столько всего еще не открытого и столько всего не изученного, что она не перестаеь удивляться, когда в который раз это находит. Каждый день она ищет для себя что-то новое и что-то интересно и она НИКОГДА, ребята, честное слово, НИКОГДА не перестает удивляться жизни и что самое главное это что-то, что она видит каждый день всегда приятное.
Она не всегда хочет смотреть реалистично на жизнь,но что пожелаешь, просто так ей легче жить в жтом грубом мире. Так намного легче.
Знаете, я тоже перестаю ее видеть утром в зеркале. И мне это совершенно не нравиться. Ведь мы с ней уже так давно дружим. 2 ноября будет уже 21 год как никак. А это на самом деле много. Я не хочу завтра проснуться и не уведеть ее рядом со мной в зеркале.
Сложно.
Подскажите как ее найти и снова вернуть в мою жизнь!!!!!! Очень нужно. Честно...
суббота, 8 августа 2009 г.
Мысли вслух
Мда. Слишком много мыслей. Слишком много дел. Слишком много эмоций и даже пустоты в каком-то плане.
Я не писала здесь давно. Просто не было желания, а точнее не было что писать. Даже восприятие того, что это же можно написать в блоге как-то притупилось. Просто достаточно места в мозгу чтобы это обдумать или просто не хочется ни про что думать. Так легче, спокойнее :0
Съездила в Белоруссию. Слишком много тетральщины и фальши. Не переношу такого в людях. Меня это просто отталкиваеет от них. Я люблю когда люди четко представляют то чем они являются на самом деле, а не начинают создавать театральные действия с подручными средствами и подручными актерами. Пошло и не естественно! Сделала жест доброй воли и выполнила миссию послушной внучки. Наверно хватит. Не поеду туда еще ближайших года этак 2.
Приехав домой сразу закрутил водоворот событий. Люди, встречи, пакование, деньги, все нараз. А мне так не хочется. Пару дней назад словила себя на мысли, а может плюнуть и не ехать. Но потом проснулась совесть и все прилегающие к ней органы, которые мне нагло заявили, что такой шанс терять не надо и вообще, как мне такая мысль могла прийти в голову. Я ужаснула и пошла снова писать письма всем кому пишется.
Сегодня подумала, что наверно надо будет сделать гуд-бай парти. Может даже и сделаю :)
Много ожиданий впереди и много дел.
Люблю всех. А я конфьюзд :)
Я не писала здесь давно. Просто не было желания, а точнее не было что писать. Даже восприятие того, что это же можно написать в блоге как-то притупилось. Просто достаточно места в мозгу чтобы это обдумать или просто не хочется ни про что думать. Так легче, спокойнее :0
Съездила в Белоруссию. Слишком много тетральщины и фальши. Не переношу такого в людях. Меня это просто отталкиваеет от них. Я люблю когда люди четко представляют то чем они являются на самом деле, а не начинают создавать театральные действия с подручными средствами и подручными актерами. Пошло и не естественно! Сделала жест доброй воли и выполнила миссию послушной внучки. Наверно хватит. Не поеду туда еще ближайших года этак 2.
Приехав домой сразу закрутил водоворот событий. Люди, встречи, пакование, деньги, все нараз. А мне так не хочется. Пару дней назад словила себя на мысли, а может плюнуть и не ехать. Но потом проснулась совесть и все прилегающие к ней органы, которые мне нагло заявили, что такой шанс терять не надо и вообще, как мне такая мысль могла прийти в голову. Я ужаснула и пошла снова писать письма всем кому пишется.
Сегодня подумала, что наверно надо будет сделать гуд-бай парти. Может даже и сделаю :)
Много ожиданий впереди и много дел.
Люблю всех. А я конфьюзд :)
среда, 8 июля 2009 г.
Time is passing so quickly...
Мені набридло писати англійською. Тому що я перестала думати на цій мові. НЕхай мене пробачать індійські колеги, але я хочу писати на укр чи рос, як буде настрій!
Ось вже 3 місяці як я дома. Дивно. Мені дуже добре, але все ж таки вже якось не так. Говорила з Мещяряком. Зрозуміла я не одна така. Не тут і не там. Дуже хочу знайти ото тут :)) Думаю скоро прийде :)
15 серпня починається новий період мого життя. Дуже хочу, щоб то був хороший його період.
В мене знову не хата, а хостел і мене від того пре. Постійно проводжу час зі стажерами,так ніби я їх ОСП. Але що я можу з собою зробити ? :))) Мені це подобається.
Вчора пили з турками за їх 3 переїзд. Було смішно. І весело. все ж таки в них є щось особливе. Сьогодні було складно встати :)) але я змогла. :)
я і далі притримуюсь думки, що самій бути краще ніж з кимось. Тому навіть не страюсь. А могла б ... А ну його... все одне...
Мені добре дома, я нічого не роблю і насолоджуюсь цим. Піклуюсь через день за дідусем і бабцею і шукаю квартиру в Чікаго. Поки що шукаю... Скоро знайду...
Мені стали снитись дуже реалістичні сни з оточуючими мене людьми в головних ролях. Вони настільки реальні, що починаєш забувати, що є сон, а що є візія... Мені було краще без них...
Друзі губляться. Нові приходять. Далекі стають близькими і навпаки. Дивно.
Сорі, за потік думок, але це те як я себе зараз почуваю...
Люблю
Ось вже 3 місяці як я дома. Дивно. Мені дуже добре, але все ж таки вже якось не так. Говорила з Мещяряком. Зрозуміла я не одна така. Не тут і не там. Дуже хочу знайти ото тут :)) Думаю скоро прийде :)
15 серпня починається новий період мого життя. Дуже хочу, щоб то був хороший його період.
В мене знову не хата, а хостел і мене від того пре. Постійно проводжу час зі стажерами,так ніби я їх ОСП. Але що я можу з собою зробити ? :))) Мені це подобається.
Вчора пили з турками за їх 3 переїзд. Було смішно. І весело. все ж таки в них є щось особливе. Сьогодні було складно встати :)) але я змогла. :)
я і далі притримуюсь думки, що самій бути краще ніж з кимось. Тому навіть не страюсь. А могла б ... А ну його... все одне...
Мені добре дома, я нічого не роблю і насолоджуюсь цим. Піклуюсь через день за дідусем і бабцею і шукаю квартиру в Чікаго. Поки що шукаю... Скоро знайду...
Мені стали снитись дуже реалістичні сни з оточуючими мене людьми в головних ролях. Вони настільки реальні, що починаєш забувати, що є сон, а що є візія... Мені було краще без них...
Друзі губляться. Нові приходять. Далекі стають близькими і навпаки. Дивно.
Сорі, за потік думок, але це те як я себе зараз почуваю...
Люблю
понедельник, 13 апреля 2009 г.
My last day in India
My dear, dear friends and simply people that arereading my blog. Now it is time for me to say good - bye to my new home - to India. In 45 minutes I'm leaving hospitable family of my good friend Akkriti and I'm going to the airport. At 8 pm, I will have my flight to some misterious city in United Arab Amirates, where I'm supposed to waite for 9 hours. Being in India I started to be more flexible in thinking about this. I have good book, I have sleeping bag, I will survive. After that I havemy flight to Ukraine, to my Motherlad. So at 13.15, my dear friends, I will lend in Kiev and I will finally see them,it, us :))
It will be strange, it will be challenging, but it is HOME, and it is always good to come back home. I love my Indian frieds, but I love my mum more. So, I will be very happy to see her again, after 5 months of my absence. I will see all this idiots aka my friends and I will be extremly happy :)) Because they will come to the airport to meet me there.
Today, I was told that I'm a lucky person. You know what? I know that I'm lucky :)) And I'm felling very proud of it. I went to India, alone. I found myself, I found friends, I had a great job, I fullfield my dream to be a Vice - President in AIESEC, in the area that I was always dreaming about. I have good friends in UKraine, that are waiting for me. I have my mum andmy grandparents, that are still alive from mother's and father's line. I'm very happy and very lucky.
I'm very thankful for everyone that maid my staying here so special and so unique. And here, I'm saying thank you not only for Indian friends, but for Ukrainian as well, because this people were cheering me up, when I didn't see bright things in life.
HUge thank you once again to all of you!!!!!
It will be strange, it will be challenging, but it is HOME, and it is always good to come back home. I love my Indian frieds, but I love my mum more. So, I will be very happy to see her again, after 5 months of my absence. I will see all this idiots aka my friends and I will be extremly happy :)) Because they will come to the airport to meet me there.
Today, I was told that I'm a lucky person. You know what? I know that I'm lucky :)) And I'm felling very proud of it. I went to India, alone. I found myself, I found friends, I had a great job, I fullfield my dream to be a Vice - President in AIESEC, in the area that I was always dreaming about. I have good friends in UKraine, that are waiting for me. I have my mum andmy grandparents, that are still alive from mother's and father's line. I'm very happy and very lucky.
I'm very thankful for everyone that maid my staying here so special and so unique. And here, I'm saying thank you not only for Indian friends, but for Ukrainian as well, because this people were cheering me up, when I didn't see bright things in life.
HUge thank you once again to all of you!!!!!
понедельник, 6 апреля 2009 г.
This mysterious word that is called FRIENDSHIP
You know, this days there are so many things that I'm thinking about.
I'm thinking about Ukraine and India, I have thoughts about my old and new home. I'm thinking about my friends there and here and those that are from all over the world. I didn't stick to any normal decision about my life. I just know that I need to go, I know that family is requiring me, that's why I'm leaving.
Once, Franka and I had a talk on her balcony - our beloved place for talking. And I was telling her, that I'm afraid of coming back. I think that she was surprised to hear that statement from me - such a strong personality. I was saying to her that I'm afraid to go home, because I lost part of life there. I'm not in the stream. I don't know what is going on in life of my friends. So, how will I fit there?
She was saying that there are no problem with that. If you want you will feet in every person's life, as I did before. I was agreeing with her at some part, but still I had doubts.
Today I realized, that I was partly right. I realized that it will be a little harder to assimilate to Ukrainian life again. It will be hard to show my Ukrainian friends that I still matter. I don't know what happened, I don't know why they lost something unique, but I can't feel it right now. Only thing that I realize at this very moment, that I will have lot's of shocks when I will reach Ukraine and not only cultural one!
I'm thinking about Ukraine and India, I have thoughts about my old and new home. I'm thinking about my friends there and here and those that are from all over the world. I didn't stick to any normal decision about my life. I just know that I need to go, I know that family is requiring me, that's why I'm leaving.
Once, Franka and I had a talk on her balcony - our beloved place for talking. And I was telling her, that I'm afraid of coming back. I think that she was surprised to hear that statement from me - such a strong personality. I was saying to her that I'm afraid to go home, because I lost part of life there. I'm not in the stream. I don't know what is going on in life of my friends. So, how will I fit there?
She was saying that there are no problem with that. If you want you will feet in every person's life, as I did before. I was agreeing with her at some part, but still I had doubts.
Today I realized, that I was partly right. I realized that it will be a little harder to assimilate to Ukrainian life again. It will be hard to show my Ukrainian friends that I still matter. I don't know what happened, I don't know why they lost something unique, but I can't feel it right now. Only thing that I realize at this very moment, that I will have lot's of shocks when I will reach Ukraine and not only cultural one!
пятница, 3 апреля 2009 г.
I'm leaving so soon
OMG!!!!!!!!!
I have so many thoughts right now in my head, so many feelings in my heart. My mood is changing every moment, every second. I can see all my life in India in front of my eyes. I can remember that fun that I had here, that intense experience. I'm getting crazy with all of this that is overwhelming me now.
I know that I'm lucky person. As I know that I'm happy person. This 4.5 months that I spend in India is such a diverse experience that will never face again. I'm not a pessimist, I'm crazy optimist. I just know that my life in a way that it was will never repeat. I will never be with the same people at the same situation in the same mind state at the same feelings level. I know that pretty good. That's why I feel so happy and so special at the same moment.
Here I experienced all emotions that human beings can ever have.
I was feeling happiness when I was selected for EB, I was feeling love or likeness when I was dating with him, I was feeling desire sitting next to another one, I was feeling jealous when I heard about stories of interns in Europe, I was feeling proud when I created content of GEP event, I was feeling happy when my LC got 5 awards during NatCong, I was feeling euphoria when we got JNC, I was feeling depression, when my Ukrainian friends were writing letters to me, I was feeling homesickness attacks when I was ignored, I was feeling care when my friends were making some small things that I was requiring at that moment and they just heard that by accident, I was feeling true friendship when Franka gave me money, when mine was stolen, I was feeling once again care when people around me were worrying how I will get home after 12 or something like that.
Guys I was constantly feeling happiness in different dimensions. I don't have possibility to write each and every situation that happened with me here, but be sure that all that is in my head and in my heart.
I think that I'm repeating this phrase probably 100 times already, but I don't care: India is like home for me. My new home and now I need to go to my old home: Ukraine, Lviv.
My motto for this days: Don't cry because it's gone, smile because it happened. I'm smiling even more than I'm usually doing :))))
Love you all :)))
I have so many thoughts right now in my head, so many feelings in my heart. My mood is changing every moment, every second. I can see all my life in India in front of my eyes. I can remember that fun that I had here, that intense experience. I'm getting crazy with all of this that is overwhelming me now.
I know that I'm lucky person. As I know that I'm happy person. This 4.5 months that I spend in India is such a diverse experience that will never face again. I'm not a pessimist, I'm crazy optimist. I just know that my life in a way that it was will never repeat. I will never be with the same people at the same situation in the same mind state at the same feelings level. I know that pretty good. That's why I feel so happy and so special at the same moment.
Here I experienced all emotions that human beings can ever have.
I was feeling happiness when I was selected for EB, I was feeling love or likeness when I was dating with him, I was feeling desire sitting next to another one, I was feeling jealous when I heard about stories of interns in Europe, I was feeling proud when I created content of GEP event, I was feeling happy when my LC got 5 awards during NatCong, I was feeling euphoria when we got JNC, I was feeling depression, when my Ukrainian friends were writing letters to me, I was feeling homesickness attacks when I was ignored, I was feeling care when my friends were making some small things that I was requiring at that moment and they just heard that by accident, I was feeling true friendship when Franka gave me money, when mine was stolen, I was feeling once again care when people around me were worrying how I will get home after 12 or something like that.
Guys I was constantly feeling happiness in different dimensions. I don't have possibility to write each and every situation that happened with me here, but be sure that all that is in my head and in my heart.
I think that I'm repeating this phrase probably 100 times already, but I don't care: India is like home for me. My new home and now I need to go to my old home: Ukraine, Lviv.
My motto for this days: Don't cry because it's gone, smile because it happened. I'm smiling even more than I'm usually doing :))))
Love you all :)))
вторник, 31 марта 2009 г.
A Farewell Letter
If for an instant God were to forget that I am rag doll and gifted me with a piece of life,
possibly I wouldn't say all that I think,
but rather I would think of all that I say.
I would value things,
not for their worth but for what they mean.
I would sleep little, dream more,
understanding that for each minute we close our eyes we lose sixty seconds of light.
I would walk when others hold back.
I would wake when others sleep.
I would listen when others talk,
and how I would enjoy a good chocolate ice cream!
If God were to give me a piece of life,
I would dress simply,
throw myself face first into the sun,
baring not only my body but also my soul.
My God, if I had a heart, I would write my hate on ice,
and wait for the sun to show.
Over the stars I would paint with a Van Gogh dream a Benedetti poem,
and a Serrat song would be the serenade I'd offer to the moon.
With my tears I would water roses,
to feel the pain of their thorns,
and the red kiss of their petals.
My God, if I had a piece of life...
I wouldn't let a single day pass without telling the people I love that I love them.
I would convince each woman and each man that they are my favorites,
and I would live in love with love.
I would show men how very wrong they are to think that they cease to be in love when they grow old,
not knowing that they grow old when they cease to love!
To a child I shall give wings,
but I shall let him learn to fly on his own.
I would teach the old that death does not come with old age,
but with forgetting.
So much have I learned from you, oh men...
I have learned that everyone wants to live on the peak of the mountain,
without knowing that real happiness is in how it is scaled.
I have learned that when a newborn child squeezes for the first time with his tiny fist his father's finger,
he has him trapped forever.
I have learned that a man has the right to look down on another only when he has to help the other get to his feet.
From you I have learned so many things,
but in truth they won't be of much use,
for when I keep them within this suitcase,
unhappily shall I be dying.
~GABRIEL GARCIA MARQUEZ~
possibly I wouldn't say all that I think,
but rather I would think of all that I say.
I would value things,
not for their worth but for what they mean.
I would sleep little, dream more,
understanding that for each minute we close our eyes we lose sixty seconds of light.
I would walk when others hold back.
I would wake when others sleep.
I would listen when others talk,
and how I would enjoy a good chocolate ice cream!
If God were to give me a piece of life,
I would dress simply,
throw myself face first into the sun,
baring not only my body but also my soul.
My God, if I had a heart, I would write my hate on ice,
and wait for the sun to show.
Over the stars I would paint with a Van Gogh dream a Benedetti poem,
and a Serrat song would be the serenade I'd offer to the moon.
With my tears I would water roses,
to feel the pain of their thorns,
and the red kiss of their petals.
My God, if I had a piece of life...
I wouldn't let a single day pass without telling the people I love that I love them.
I would convince each woman and each man that they are my favorites,
and I would live in love with love.
I would show men how very wrong they are to think that they cease to be in love when they grow old,
not knowing that they grow old when they cease to love!
To a child I shall give wings,
but I shall let him learn to fly on his own.
I would teach the old that death does not come with old age,
but with forgetting.
So much have I learned from you, oh men...
I have learned that everyone wants to live on the peak of the mountain,
without knowing that real happiness is in how it is scaled.
I have learned that when a newborn child squeezes for the first time with his tiny fist his father's finger,
he has him trapped forever.
I have learned that a man has the right to look down on another only when he has to help the other get to his feet.
From you I have learned so many things,
but in truth they won't be of much use,
for when I keep them within this suitcase,
unhappily shall I be dying.
~GABRIEL GARCIA MARQUEZ~
понедельник, 30 марта 2009 г.
Rishikesh trip
OMG!!!!! That was something!!! This trip was really different to all other trips that we had here in India. Being myself, meaning being a lot into details I will tell story about Rishikesh from very beginning, it means from preparation and organization of this trip :)
I never ever seen such a stressful planning. We were changing our plans every 15 minutes. People who were there tried to convince others, that there is nothing to see in Rishikesh, there is no possibility to do rafting, when it is raining and other crap. After participating in two on-line talks of such a character I understood - that's it! I'm going in any case and I will not pay attention to anyone. One phone call to Franka and we are already going together. So, it means that I will never be alone, when I have my best friend in India near me :) Than we had a few hours debates about how, when , why, with whom we are going with other lovely interns and just random people in our house. Finally, Natasha (intern from Russia and my good friend) made an arrangement with her boss friend that he will go with us and he will help us in everything, especially in transportation - we went to Rishikesh by his car :))) I simply love to be a white girl in India :)))
Trip to Rishikesh was quite interesting. It took us 8 hours instead of 4 that were promised. But who cares? It is called Indian stretchable time. No one is paying attention to stick to their words :(( Unfortunately. All the way David (guy from France, who was intern than employee in India, than was fired and now he is going to China, to find some work/internship there, very interesting personality, by the way :))) ) I think that I will always have associations about him - "Magical moments", Party in French style, products from Manali and lot's of funny jokes. This guy knows how to make people laugh :)))
So, we came to Rishikesh at 1.30 am. Found the hotel for 400 Rs. per room. David was shocked, me as well :((( To pay such a price for such a shit????!!!!????? Never ever I will stay in such a room for such a price. Giving you my word. As a result we decided not to bother ourselves with such a small problems as cockroaches on the floor in the room and in the bathroom, lizards on the wall and great party on the ground floor. Defiantly, who will pay attention to sooooo small inconveniences when whole week you are sleeping less than 6 hours per day, it is already 3 am and tomorrow you are planning to have 4 hours rafting in Ganga river? Yeh, I also think so :)) So, we covered dirty pillows with our pullovers and felt asleep :)))
Morning in Rishikesh started with phone call at 8 am. I wanted to kill that person, than some machines started to work in the yeard and than Natasha called and said that in 15 minutes we will have to leave! OMG. I love my life, my India, my experience here! Guys!!!!!!!! Give me half an hour more to sleeppppp!!!!!!! No way, we need to go!
Early wake up was just a part of nice morning. It started to rain in Rishikesh. Weather was "veeeeeerrrryyyyy good" for rafting. But we decided that we will do that in any case, because we travelled so far, with so many difficulties. Now, it is our responsibility to do that. So, we booked rafting, went for breakfast and finally started our way to the place on river where our adventure will start. As way there took some time, Franka and I started to remind ourselves about all adventures that we had in India with her. OMG, I didn't laugh that much for whole week totally. You know, people, I realised at that moment how many things I already experienced here, how many people I met here, how many countries I have invitation now to come :))) It was great to remind all of that :)))) Thank you Franka, for being all the time with me :)) I love you, my darling! You will always be in my heart, in my memories, in my life. You are always welcomed in every country that I will be living, staying, chilling in :) I know that we will meet in Ukraine and also I know that you will come to USA to meet me. As well I know that WE WILL visit India again, but this time for sightseeing! Pakka, my darling :))))
So, cool, our boat was ready, life-saving jackets are put on, hamlets are on the heads, instruction are understood. Chalo, lets go, friends!
First feelings: "And that's it? We want actions!!!" After first active moment: "Cool, we want more!!!!!!!!!" And we got more!!!!!!!! Guys, rafting is something great! I recommend it to everyone! You need to do it at least once in your life :) Because this rafting resort is oriented for tourist mainly not for sports men, we had a lot of fun, swimming in Ganga and just time for chatting and jokes :)) Thank's David for throwing me to Ganga, without you I will never do that! And now I have this experience. And I'm happy !!!! As well, Ganga as sooo clean in Rishikesh. I remember it in Allahabad. That was damn crap! I would not even think of swimming in that river, but in Rishikesh - why not? It was great :)))
As well, once again I'm impressed by Himalayas nature. It is simply fantastic. When you are passing through places that are completely virgin and on other side you see tourist camp and just polluted Indian villages :) It is very different and very diverse country. I can't stop being amazed by it!
My rafting experience was so cool because of people with whom I was there: Natasha, David, Rajishwar and for sure Franka!
After stopping we went to change to some dry clothes and lunch :)) We went to the restaurant in one hotel and I was shocked to see so many foreigners in one time in one place in India. Obviously, food was prepared as for foreigners, not for Indians, meaning that it was not that spicy :)
After great lunch we decided to go around Rishikesh and finally to go home. You know, guys, at that moment it was hard to take this decision. I will tell you why. When you are sleeping whole week less than 6 hours per day, when you had crazy weekends with lot's of activities, such as rafting, travelling and sightseeing and you still know that tomorrow work is starting. It means that at least at 9.30 am you need to be in the office. As well you need to do something there, most preferably, something useful :))) And you know that trip home will take 6-7 hours. So, it means that you have big chances to come home at 2-3 am. Logically, you will have same 6 hours to recover from trip and to go for work.
On the other hand - you have possibility to see Rishikesh, you have possibility to go to unknown temples, you have possibility to buy some cheap souvenirs for your friends and for yourself and generally you have a possibility to do something different from daily routine!
I think you already guessed what we did :)) Obviously, we stayed :)) And we enjoyed. It was great. Rishikesh is great small city, with lot's of crazy people that are thinking that they are saint or at least something like that. There are lot's of nice temples, there are lot's of shops with cool Indian clothes, but prices are a bit higher than in Amritsar for example, because there are too many stupid tourists that are paying high price for that products!
I was blessed by some strange guy from Hindu temple. Now, I have holy ribbon on my wrist and red spot on my forehead :)) Funny :)
Souvenirs were bought, city seen and we went back home :))
I don't know why, but trip home wasn't that long as trip to Rishikesh. Maybe our driver stopped being lost ??? :)))) Who knows? But as a result at 1.30 am we were at home:))) Finally, my bed, my pillow, my room.
Thank's once again to everyone, who made this trip so great!!!! It was great experience, great views, great emotions and feelings!
Love you :)))
I never ever seen such a stressful planning. We were changing our plans every 15 minutes. People who were there tried to convince others, that there is nothing to see in Rishikesh, there is no possibility to do rafting, when it is raining and other crap. After participating in two on-line talks of such a character I understood - that's it! I'm going in any case and I will not pay attention to anyone. One phone call to Franka and we are already going together. So, it means that I will never be alone, when I have my best friend in India near me :) Than we had a few hours debates about how, when , why, with whom we are going with other lovely interns and just random people in our house. Finally, Natasha (intern from Russia and my good friend) made an arrangement with her boss friend that he will go with us and he will help us in everything, especially in transportation - we went to Rishikesh by his car :))) I simply love to be a white girl in India :)))
Trip to Rishikesh was quite interesting. It took us 8 hours instead of 4 that were promised. But who cares? It is called Indian stretchable time. No one is paying attention to stick to their words :(( Unfortunately. All the way David (guy from France, who was intern than employee in India, than was fired and now he is going to China, to find some work/internship there, very interesting personality, by the way :))) ) I think that I will always have associations about him - "Magical moments", Party in French style, products from Manali and lot's of funny jokes. This guy knows how to make people laugh :)))
So, we came to Rishikesh at 1.30 am. Found the hotel for 400 Rs. per room. David was shocked, me as well :((( To pay such a price for such a shit????!!!!????? Never ever I will stay in such a room for such a price. Giving you my word. As a result we decided not to bother ourselves with such a small problems as cockroaches on the floor in the room and in the bathroom, lizards on the wall and great party on the ground floor. Defiantly, who will pay attention to sooooo small inconveniences when whole week you are sleeping less than 6 hours per day, it is already 3 am and tomorrow you are planning to have 4 hours rafting in Ganga river? Yeh, I also think so :)) So, we covered dirty pillows with our pullovers and felt asleep :)))
Morning in Rishikesh started with phone call at 8 am. I wanted to kill that person, than some machines started to work in the yeard and than Natasha called and said that in 15 minutes we will have to leave! OMG. I love my life, my India, my experience here! Guys!!!!!!!! Give me half an hour more to sleeppppp!!!!!!! No way, we need to go!
Early wake up was just a part of nice morning. It started to rain in Rishikesh. Weather was "veeeeeerrrryyyyy good" for rafting. But we decided that we will do that in any case, because we travelled so far, with so many difficulties. Now, it is our responsibility to do that. So, we booked rafting, went for breakfast and finally started our way to the place on river where our adventure will start. As way there took some time, Franka and I started to remind ourselves about all adventures that we had in India with her. OMG, I didn't laugh that much for whole week totally. You know, people, I realised at that moment how many things I already experienced here, how many people I met here, how many countries I have invitation now to come :))) It was great to remind all of that :)))) Thank you Franka, for being all the time with me :)) I love you, my darling! You will always be in my heart, in my memories, in my life. You are always welcomed in every country that I will be living, staying, chilling in :) I know that we will meet in Ukraine and also I know that you will come to USA to meet me. As well I know that WE WILL visit India again, but this time for sightseeing! Pakka, my darling :))))
So, cool, our boat was ready, life-saving jackets are put on, hamlets are on the heads, instruction are understood. Chalo, lets go, friends!
First feelings: "And that's it? We want actions!!!" After first active moment: "Cool, we want more!!!!!!!!!" And we got more!!!!!!!! Guys, rafting is something great! I recommend it to everyone! You need to do it at least once in your life :) Because this rafting resort is oriented for tourist mainly not for sports men, we had a lot of fun, swimming in Ganga and just time for chatting and jokes :)) Thank's David for throwing me to Ganga, without you I will never do that! And now I have this experience. And I'm happy !!!! As well, Ganga as sooo clean in Rishikesh. I remember it in Allahabad. That was damn crap! I would not even think of swimming in that river, but in Rishikesh - why not? It was great :)))
As well, once again I'm impressed by Himalayas nature. It is simply fantastic. When you are passing through places that are completely virgin and on other side you see tourist camp and just polluted Indian villages :) It is very different and very diverse country. I can't stop being amazed by it!
My rafting experience was so cool because of people with whom I was there: Natasha, David, Rajishwar and for sure Franka!
After stopping we went to change to some dry clothes and lunch :)) We went to the restaurant in one hotel and I was shocked to see so many foreigners in one time in one place in India. Obviously, food was prepared as for foreigners, not for Indians, meaning that it was not that spicy :)
After great lunch we decided to go around Rishikesh and finally to go home. You know, guys, at that moment it was hard to take this decision. I will tell you why. When you are sleeping whole week less than 6 hours per day, when you had crazy weekends with lot's of activities, such as rafting, travelling and sightseeing and you still know that tomorrow work is starting. It means that at least at 9.30 am you need to be in the office. As well you need to do something there, most preferably, something useful :))) And you know that trip home will take 6-7 hours. So, it means that you have big chances to come home at 2-3 am. Logically, you will have same 6 hours to recover from trip and to go for work.
On the other hand - you have possibility to see Rishikesh, you have possibility to go to unknown temples, you have possibility to buy some cheap souvenirs for your friends and for yourself and generally you have a possibility to do something different from daily routine!
I think you already guessed what we did :)) Obviously, we stayed :)) And we enjoyed. It was great. Rishikesh is great small city, with lot's of crazy people that are thinking that they are saint or at least something like that. There are lot's of nice temples, there are lot's of shops with cool Indian clothes, but prices are a bit higher than in Amritsar for example, because there are too many stupid tourists that are paying high price for that products!
I was blessed by some strange guy from Hindu temple. Now, I have holy ribbon on my wrist and red spot on my forehead :)) Funny :)
Souvenirs were bought, city seen and we went back home :))
I don't know why, but trip home wasn't that long as trip to Rishikesh. Maybe our driver stopped being lost ??? :)))) Who knows? But as a result at 1.30 am we were at home:))) Finally, my bed, my pillow, my room.
Thank's once again to everyone, who made this trip so great!!!! It was great experience, great views, great emotions and feelings!
Love you :)))
четверг, 26 марта 2009 г.
Interns of AIESEC in Chandigarh - I love you sooooo much!!!!
Yesterday, I had very strange day. I had too many thoughts in my mind. About life, home, friends that are here and friends that are there. O was thinking about my personal growth and my professional career. As you can see to wide sphere of interests :))
So, as a result I was a bit sad and even had homesickness attacks. I put this status in gtalk. In 15 minutes 3 persons wrote me smth nice. How they love me, how they appreciate my work here. I'm very thankful to this people.
After my work I decided to call Tushar and ask where are they, because I wanted to go to AIESEC office to work there. They were chilling at Sukhna lake. So, I came to all of them. It was a bit fun, a bit not interesting, because people around me, I mean AIESECers are all the time speaking in Hindi and I can't understand anything. So, every time when I'm with them or I need to listen very carefully and than I can get main point by noting there mimics, intonations and just moves or I can ignore that and start observing people as I'm usually doing.
Than we finally went to office, where I had great plans to work. And you know what? They were screwed up. Because working computer is transported to my home, but there is no internet at my home. There is Internet in the office, but there are no working computers :)) As usually. Ok, another purpose of me coming to office was to take bicycle that one of our LC members was supposed to bring me on Monday. Guess what? It wasn't there :) Indian style. Ok, I already got used to it. No problem.
So, what I decided to do? Obviously, I called interns that are living at the same house where AIESEC office is. There were not that much of them, but still.
And I had the most cosiest, the most feeling like at home with friends evening. When people are caring about each other. When people are sharing the same thoughts and not judging each other for the way they look, the way they speak and pronounce words in English. This 3 incredible personalities were showing there culture without domination, but with sharing equal ideas and points. They were telling about their life and especially experience in India as a fairy tale in speaking but not always fairy tail in the reality. I want to say great thank's for Dina, Pusi and Matews. I'm sorry, if spelling of your names are different, please correct me. I'm so happy that I came to their place.
After chilling in 37 house we all went to Score for party. As usually we didn't pay anything - girls night :))) And it was so great to hang out with all interns together. Even those that are not party people went with us. So, now I want to say thank's to all of you that my night in Score so cool: Leena, Rachna, Al, Natasha, David, Dina, Pusi, Matews, Tavu, Gwen.
Thank's for all crazy dances, thank's for all talks that we had, especially it goes to my new friends from Egypt - Dina and Pusi. Guys, I will come to Egypt. Just don't know when :)) Thank's for great auto-riksha experience.
How all of us were fitting to one auto. How that riksha-driver was too high to drive and than fuel finished and we couldn't go anywhere else :)) How Rachna was trying to negotiate about lower price. And once again fitting to one auto. It was crazy.It was great. All this memories will always be with me, in my heart!
I just hope that this is not last time when we are chilling like this. All together. In the same rhythm.
So, as a result I was a bit sad and even had homesickness attacks. I put this status in gtalk. In 15 minutes 3 persons wrote me smth nice. How they love me, how they appreciate my work here. I'm very thankful to this people.
After my work I decided to call Tushar and ask where are they, because I wanted to go to AIESEC office to work there. They were chilling at Sukhna lake. So, I came to all of them. It was a bit fun, a bit not interesting, because people around me, I mean AIESECers are all the time speaking in Hindi and I can't understand anything. So, every time when I'm with them or I need to listen very carefully and than I can get main point by noting there mimics, intonations and just moves or I can ignore that and start observing people as I'm usually doing.
Than we finally went to office, where I had great plans to work. And you know what? They were screwed up. Because working computer is transported to my home, but there is no internet at my home. There is Internet in the office, but there are no working computers :)) As usually. Ok, another purpose of me coming to office was to take bicycle that one of our LC members was supposed to bring me on Monday. Guess what? It wasn't there :) Indian style. Ok, I already got used to it. No problem.
So, what I decided to do? Obviously, I called interns that are living at the same house where AIESEC office is. There were not that much of them, but still.
And I had the most cosiest, the most feeling like at home with friends evening. When people are caring about each other. When people are sharing the same thoughts and not judging each other for the way they look, the way they speak and pronounce words in English. This 3 incredible personalities were showing there culture without domination, but with sharing equal ideas and points. They were telling about their life and especially experience in India as a fairy tale in speaking but not always fairy tail in the reality. I want to say great thank's for Dina, Pusi and Matews. I'm sorry, if spelling of your names are different, please correct me. I'm so happy that I came to their place.
After chilling in 37 house we all went to Score for party. As usually we didn't pay anything - girls night :))) And it was so great to hang out with all interns together. Even those that are not party people went with us. So, now I want to say thank's to all of you that my night in Score so cool: Leena, Rachna, Al, Natasha, David, Dina, Pusi, Matews, Tavu, Gwen.
Thank's for all crazy dances, thank's for all talks that we had, especially it goes to my new friends from Egypt - Dina and Pusi. Guys, I will come to Egypt. Just don't know when :)) Thank's for great auto-riksha experience.
How all of us were fitting to one auto. How that riksha-driver was too high to drive and than fuel finished and we couldn't go anywhere else :)) How Rachna was trying to negotiate about lower price. And once again fitting to one auto. It was crazy.It was great. All this memories will always be with me, in my heart!
I just hope that this is not last time when we are chilling like this. All together. In the same rhythm.
среда, 25 марта 2009 г.
Mix in my head
I have such a mess right now in my head. It is combination of feelings, emotions, thoughts, experiences, parallels, perpendiculars, desires, wishes, paradigms, stereotypes and many other things that I don't know even words that are disribing them.
At this very moment I have so many roles in my life, so many masks that need to be put. Even people around the world are fighting with this statement I still consider it to be truthful. We are really different at work and in family circle. We are saying all things openly when we are in team of friends and we silent about them, when we are not so much acquainted with people around us.
The same with me.
I fill myself very comfortable in India, I simply love this country as well I missing Ukraine like hell. I want to stay here longer and I want to go home as soon as possible. Should I consider that controversial mindset?
I want to be alone at the same I need to have company around me not to fall into depression.
I got over motivated with my work. I finally found something that I'm interested to know more about. I was working on it like mad for 4 working days. And you know what? My manager said that it is not applicable for our company and he really doubts that President will approve it. What da hell? Man, do you know how hard I worked to receive that damn information? I don't know. I'm generally frustrated about Indian working style. I just know that if I will be confident about that exhibition I may convince my President that we need to go there. And I hope that he will also take me there. I would like to see Tashkent.
My friends. My dear friends. Where are you? Why today there are people around me that we so far from me and now they are so close to my heart? As well, why people who shared every breath, every single moment of happiness, sadness, disaster, passion, desire, fun, love just gone, don't have time, don't have desire to be with me. I don't know what is wrong. But I really feel sad about that. At the same time because of that I'm a bit scared to go back to Ukraine. I know that when I will come there everything will change. And I really mean EVERYTHING! My friends will have somehow different life, they will surrounded by new ideas, people, plans. And I will be out of all of that. Out, not knowing what, where, when.
As well, there are several positive moments in my life. First one and the biggest one is positive tendencies in my family. We are on our way for better future and I'm really really happy about that. Let's pray for it staying on the same road!
Also, I'm very happy with my AIESEC involvement. I'm at the right position, in right Local Committee, with right people around me. I know what I need to do. I know what I want to do. I know how I want to do that. As well, I know which legacy I want to leave after myself. This is making me extremely happy. I know that when I will finally leave AIESEC I will fullfill one big dream of mine! I just want to see two and a half months of my work even better than I've experienced before.
So, I have good moments, I have sad moments. All this is called life of an adult. That's why so often I want to go back to my childhood. Without that much responsibilities, when life was so easy and simple. But I know that it is impossible. So, I don't have any other choice as to put a mask of wise, intelligent and mature person and continue my fight :)
вторник, 10 марта 2009 г.
Владимир Высоцкий "Я не люблю"
Я не люблю фатального исхода.
От жизни никогда не устаю.
Я не люблю любое время года,
Когда веселых песен не пою.
Я не люблю открытого цинизма,
В восторженность не верю, и еще,
Когда чужой мои читает письма,
Заглядывая мне через плечо.
Я не люблю, когда наполовину
Или когда прервали разговор.
Я не люблю, когда стреляют в спину,
Я также против выстрелов в упор.
Я ненавижу сплетни в виде версий,
Червей сомненья, почестей иглу,
Или, когда все время против шерсти,
Или, когда железом по стеклу.
Я не люблю уверенности сытой,
Уж лучше пусть откажут тормоза!
Досадно мне, что слово "честь" забыто,
И что в чести наветы за глаза.
Когда я вижу сломанные крылья,
Нет жалости во мне и неспроста -
Я не люблю насилье и бессилье,
Вот только жаль распятого Христа.
Я не люблю себя, когда я трушу,
Досадно мне, когда невинных бьют,
Я не люблю, когда мне лезут в душу,
Тем более, когда в нее плюют.
Я не люблю манежи и арены,
На них мильон меняют по рублю,
Пусть впереди большие перемены,
Я это никогда не полюблю.
1969
От жизни никогда не устаю.
Я не люблю любое время года,
Когда веселых песен не пою.
Я не люблю открытого цинизма,
В восторженность не верю, и еще,
Когда чужой мои читает письма,
Заглядывая мне через плечо.
Я не люблю, когда наполовину
Или когда прервали разговор.
Я не люблю, когда стреляют в спину,
Я также против выстрелов в упор.
Я ненавижу сплетни в виде версий,
Червей сомненья, почестей иглу,
Или, когда все время против шерсти,
Или, когда железом по стеклу.
Я не люблю уверенности сытой,
Уж лучше пусть откажут тормоза!
Досадно мне, что слово "честь" забыто,
И что в чести наветы за глаза.
Когда я вижу сломанные крылья,
Нет жалости во мне и неспроста -
Я не люблю насилье и бессилье,
Вот только жаль распятого Христа.
Я не люблю себя, когда я трушу,
Досадно мне, когда невинных бьют,
Я не люблю, когда мне лезут в душу,
Тем более, когда в нее плюют.
Я не люблю манежи и арены,
На них мильон меняют по рублю,
Пусть впереди большие перемены,
Я это никогда не полюблю.
1969
пятница, 6 марта 2009 г.
My dearest Executive Body AIESEC in Chandigarh 2009
You know, my dear friends from all over the world, this time has come. Time to write about people that are making my life here, in Chandigarh. And by the way they are making it GREAT!!!!
I know that there are still so many things to find out about this people, as well for some of them I'm like a mystery. Some of them know me from one side, others from another, but there is one common thing for all of us. We are striving to be a team. Not always it is successful, not always it is soooo bad. But we are together. We have one goal, one dream, one desire - TO BE NUMBER ONE LC IN THE AIESEC WORLD IN 2009 .
So, now I want to share what I think, what I know, what I feel towards these 11 bright Individuals!
So, starting from Sahil :)
This person was among few first people who excepted me in EB, not like a foreigner, not like intern, but as a friend, as a team mate. And I'm so thankful for that. Sahil, is the one who can make me think in another, non-standard way. His best phrase about me: Yuliya, there is fun in life even without agenda!
Thank you Sahil, for all our talks in your car, thank's for always dropping me home, thank's for all your valuable advices in AIESEC work, in life, in staying in India, in acting with guys :)))
Gautam
Gautam is a person, who's questions are the most non expectable. My personal life is the most interesting topic for discussion. I remember one moment after GEP event, we had party in AIESEC office. We were standing in the yard, drinking beer, making speaches for people who made this event possible. And I was standing near Gautam, Sahil and TJ. You know, at that moment I had so strong feeling of being one team, having the same views on our goals and having the same desire to achieve them!Thank you for that!
Gautam, is always near by to help. If you ask him for a favour he will be always there. He will come to trainee house to solve some problem even in late night or early morning! Thank's Gauti, for your commitment! Thank's for being so funny and so unpredictable!
Sourabh
Sourabh is the most challenging person to work with. You never know what is going on his head. At this moment he can talk about sessions for GEP event, next moment he is telling me something about his life and than back to the video for the first session that we didn't discuss yet :))
But at the same time, only working with such great individual as Sourabh you can feel passion of the organisation, you can understand how much he is carrying for everything that he is doing. And when he is saying: "Yuliya, don't worry, everything will be alright " I really believe in that, because he is great :)))
My last meeting with Sourabh lasted for 4 hours. We created plan of my work, added new dimensions and completely changed perspectives for a few things. He is motivating me to work more and more! Thank you my dear for that!
Akkriti
At the beginning of my term I even didn't see that girl. She wasn't present at EB announcement, I didn't go for NatCong, so we didn't meet for 1 month or something like that. Our first working meeting was probably during GEP event, where I've seen how she is working with media! Gushhhh, that is something fantastic! She is just crazy about that! And this is amazing! Because you see that this person is passionate about her portfolio, about her work and only in that way we can achieve our goals!
Tushar
Oh, Tushar! It is hard to write about him. First of all this is my colleague in TM area. Second of all he is great team-mate. Tushar organized best recruitment that I ever seen and made great team from guys who were working in recruitment.
He is crapping dirty jokes. He has strange posts in his blog. But still he is somehow special :))
Mansi
First association that I have with this charming lady, that she is sooooo sweet. Her house is next AIESEC office but with better conditions :) She is always there when you need her! Her passion is AIESEC, she even put statuses in Facebook about AIESEC as a lover. Isn't that strange? Yes, it is. But she is not carrying about that, because she sees something more special in that!
Thank you Mansi, for being close to me, thank's for being my company in buying Valentine cards, even it was never presented. Thank you, for your smiles!
Shalika
My first meeting with that girl was through e-mails. She made my coming to India possible, because she was the one, who was sending me all required documents for visa. She was among those first people whom I met at Nik Backers cafe when I landed in Chandigarh. And now we are working in one team. She is always creative in finding new ways of approaching companies, raising TNs, matching more EPs with AIESEC in Chandigarh!
Shivika
I still don't know Shivika that good. But till now I could see that she is very sweet, very nice person that knows what she wants from life.And she is doing that every day. She is planning to raise so much money, that probably we will be reachest LC in India. I just wish that we will realize that in reality, but knowing her potential in ER I don't have any doubts.
TJ
That was the most inspiring speech that I heard when person was selected for EB. This is the most passionate about Finance person. This is the most challenging team-mate for me. Usually it is hard to work with him, usually it is hard even to talk with him. But I know, or at least I hope that till the end of my term we will have good and friendly relations :)
Abhishek
I think that we have lot's of common with this person, even though not always it can be seen. He is funny. He is like teddy bear :))) He likes his department and as well he has his own opinion about every situation but not always he is telling that :))
Now, person that is close to his heart left and I think that he is not feeling very good. Abhishek, if you are supposed to be together, you will be!
And finally, person that made my experience here so intensive and so different from common view of intersnhip, person that selected me for this Executive Body, person that is always managing everything.
And this person is Vikram!
Vikram was the first person with whom I contacted in Chandigarh, he was the first one who was managing my coming to Incredible India. I always know that if I face some difficulties in work, in implementing my plans I can come to him and talk about that and he will always have some constructive solution. He is great manager and leader with great potential. He is leading a team of 12 people and I think that it is already something that LCP can be recognised for! His dream, life, passion, desire and everything that you can ever imagine is AIESEC.
He is obsessed with our goal - To be number one LC in the world and he is making us to believe in the reality of this dream!
Thank you Vikram for all of that!
And all together, all this bright, special, unique, incredible individuals are one team - Executive Body AIESEC in Chandigarh 2009
THE ARCHITECTS
I know that there are still so many things to find out about this people, as well for some of them I'm like a mystery. Some of them know me from one side, others from another, but there is one common thing for all of us. We are striving to be a team. Not always it is successful, not always it is soooo bad. But we are together. We have one goal, one dream, one desire - TO BE NUMBER ONE LC IN THE AIESEC WORLD IN 2009 .
So, now I want to share what I think, what I know, what I feel towards these 11 bright Individuals!
So, starting from Sahil :)
This person was among few first people who excepted me in EB, not like a foreigner, not like intern, but as a friend, as a team mate. And I'm so thankful for that. Sahil, is the one who can make me think in another, non-standard way. His best phrase about me: Yuliya, there is fun in life even without agenda!
Thank you Sahil, for all our talks in your car, thank's for always dropping me home, thank's for all your valuable advices in AIESEC work, in life, in staying in India, in acting with guys :)))
Gautam
Gautam is a person, who's questions are the most non expectable. My personal life is the most interesting topic for discussion. I remember one moment after GEP event, we had party in AIESEC office. We were standing in the yard, drinking beer, making speaches for people who made this event possible. And I was standing near Gautam, Sahil and TJ. You know, at that moment I had so strong feeling of being one team, having the same views on our goals and having the same desire to achieve them!Thank you for that!
Gautam, is always near by to help. If you ask him for a favour he will be always there. He will come to trainee house to solve some problem even in late night or early morning! Thank's Gauti, for your commitment! Thank's for being so funny and so unpredictable!
Sourabh
Sourabh is the most challenging person to work with. You never know what is going on his head. At this moment he can talk about sessions for GEP event, next moment he is telling me something about his life and than back to the video for the first session that we didn't discuss yet :))
But at the same time, only working with such great individual as Sourabh you can feel passion of the organisation, you can understand how much he is carrying for everything that he is doing. And when he is saying: "Yuliya, don't worry, everything will be alright " I really believe in that, because he is great :)))
My last meeting with Sourabh lasted for 4 hours. We created plan of my work, added new dimensions and completely changed perspectives for a few things. He is motivating me to work more and more! Thank you my dear for that!
Akkriti
At the beginning of my term I even didn't see that girl. She wasn't present at EB announcement, I didn't go for NatCong, so we didn't meet for 1 month or something like that. Our first working meeting was probably during GEP event, where I've seen how she is working with media! Gushhhh, that is something fantastic! She is just crazy about that! And this is amazing! Because you see that this person is passionate about her portfolio, about her work and only in that way we can achieve our goals!
Tushar
Oh, Tushar! It is hard to write about him. First of all this is my colleague in TM area. Second of all he is great team-mate. Tushar organized best recruitment that I ever seen and made great team from guys who were working in recruitment.
He is crapping dirty jokes. He has strange posts in his blog. But still he is somehow special :))
Mansi
First association that I have with this charming lady, that she is sooooo sweet. Her house is next AIESEC office but with better conditions :) She is always there when you need her! Her passion is AIESEC, she even put statuses in Facebook about AIESEC as a lover. Isn't that strange? Yes, it is. But she is not carrying about that, because she sees something more special in that!
Thank you Mansi, for being close to me, thank's for being my company in buying Valentine cards, even it was never presented. Thank you, for your smiles!
Shalika
My first meeting with that girl was through e-mails. She made my coming to India possible, because she was the one, who was sending me all required documents for visa. She was among those first people whom I met at Nik Backers cafe when I landed in Chandigarh. And now we are working in one team. She is always creative in finding new ways of approaching companies, raising TNs, matching more EPs with AIESEC in Chandigarh!
Shivika
I still don't know Shivika that good. But till now I could see that she is very sweet, very nice person that knows what she wants from life.And she is doing that every day. She is planning to raise so much money, that probably we will be reachest LC in India. I just wish that we will realize that in reality, but knowing her potential in ER I don't have any doubts.
TJ
That was the most inspiring speech that I heard when person was selected for EB. This is the most passionate about Finance person. This is the most challenging team-mate for me. Usually it is hard to work with him, usually it is hard even to talk with him. But I know, or at least I hope that till the end of my term we will have good and friendly relations :)
Abhishek
I think that we have lot's of common with this person, even though not always it can be seen. He is funny. He is like teddy bear :))) He likes his department and as well he has his own opinion about every situation but not always he is telling that :))
Now, person that is close to his heart left and I think that he is not feeling very good. Abhishek, if you are supposed to be together, you will be!
And finally, person that made my experience here so intensive and so different from common view of intersnhip, person that selected me for this Executive Body, person that is always managing everything.
And this person is Vikram!
Vikram was the first person with whom I contacted in Chandigarh, he was the first one who was managing my coming to Incredible India. I always know that if I face some difficulties in work, in implementing my plans I can come to him and talk about that and he will always have some constructive solution. He is great manager and leader with great potential. He is leading a team of 12 people and I think that it is already something that LCP can be recognised for! His dream, life, passion, desire and everything that you can ever imagine is AIESEC.
He is obsessed with our goal - To be number one LC in the world and he is making us to believe in the reality of this dream!
Thank you Vikram for all of that!
And all together, all this bright, special, unique, incredible individuals are one team - Executive Body AIESEC in Chandigarh 2009
THE ARCHITECTS
вторник, 3 марта 2009 г.
Подаруй Світло Мені (Present a light for me)
Today I was talking with one of my friends in skype and I understood that she needs to talk with me not only by typing, because I don't have headset, but in life. So, I quickly went out of the office and went trough the field where slum children were running around and begging for money, I went for nearest international phone to call her. Our conversation lasted for 25 minutes. And during this time I felt that I'm doing the right thing. I'M HELPING A PERSON, great individual and simply my friend. After that talk I realised what I'm missing here in India, I'm missing helping people. I don't know how it can be, but I really felt like this.
In Ukraine, every friend of mine knows that in emergency and not only I will come and help. How many of you were coming at late night to my place, because it was nearest or maybe the most convenient place to come, where guests are always welcomed? How many of you came at early morning? When we were meeting or saying last good bye to all interns that we had in LC? Or how many of you came from other cities to stay at my place and enjoy my beloved city, my home town, my Lviv? Probably hundreds! And I enjoyed all of that with you!!!!!
Because this is they way I'm. This is how my normal life is looking like! Because I love to help people, I love guests in my house, I love to show Ukrainian culture to interns. I simply love that!
And here, I miss that. I miss helping my friends, I miss spending time with them.
Even if I would try to help some of my friends here, I can't do that, because I don't know city that good, I don't know how are the things working here to all the details that I know in Ukraine. Probably, here, I need to receive help from someone...
But I want to give something as well...
In Ukraine, every friend of mine knows that in emergency and not only I will come and help. How many of you were coming at late night to my place, because it was nearest or maybe the most convenient place to come, where guests are always welcomed? How many of you came at early morning? When we were meeting or saying last good bye to all interns that we had in LC? Or how many of you came from other cities to stay at my place and enjoy my beloved city, my home town, my Lviv? Probably hundreds! And I enjoyed all of that with you!!!!!
Because this is they way I'm. This is how my normal life is looking like! Because I love to help people, I love guests in my house, I love to show Ukrainian culture to interns. I simply love that!
And here, I miss that. I miss helping my friends, I miss spending time with them.
Even if I would try to help some of my friends here, I can't do that, because I don't know city that good, I don't know how are the things working here to all the details that I know in Ukraine. Probably, here, I need to receive help from someone...
But I want to give something as well...
пятница, 27 февраля 2009 г.
Things that 20 years old need to have...
Today in the morning I was walking to my work and I had so many things in my head in a same moment. I thought about my family, about my mum, my grandparents. I thought about my friends in Ukraine and my friends in India. I thought about relationship that as Sasha said are a bit windy. I thought about the things that 20 years old person need to have/experience/live during this period of time.And after that I came with such a list:
1) You need to fall in love. Great love, that will lead you in every action, every thought, every idea. Love, that will overflow you with new feelings, emotions and images. Love that you will always remember, because most probably it will be your first love. I had it.
2) You need to have one friend that can die for you and can die for him/her. This should a person, whom you can call at 3 am and first thing that you will hear as reply, will not be: What da fuck? Have you seen what time is it now? But you will hear: What happened? How can I help you? Maybe, this person will not have time to hang-out with you every Friday in the cafe, but this person will always meet you in the airport/railway station/bus stand, when you will come home. I had it.
3) You need to have a country, except your own Motherland, that you will always dream about. For sure, you need to visit it and than afterwards always remind yourself about that trip.About feelings and emotions that were over bursting from you during this 10/20/120 days that you've spend in that country. You need to be inspired by people, that are living there, by unique culture, by outstanding architecture/museums, you need to fall in love with nature and sight views of this country. I have it. And not one :)
4) You need to love you Motherland. Not for the political leaders, or for economical system, not for resources or facilities that you can get. BUT for people, history, identity and national spirit. I do!. I'm proud to be Ukrainian.
5) You need to have one Biggest failure and one Biggest success. With you experience this two feelings, you know that there are two poles in the world. You know that you can be king of the moment and you can be complete full next time. After feeling THIS you start to think in long-term perspective. You start to realise that every your step might have a such result in your life, that probably never expect to have. I think I had it.Sometimes even too much of both of them
6) You need to have good relations in your family.It doesn't matter how big your family is. Or you are living with 13 brothers and sisters, or your family is just your mum. You need to have good relations between each other. I know that sometimes it might be hard. I know that sometimes it looks almost impossible, but we need to strive for excellence and we need to achieve it. I can't say that I always have it, but I will strive, because I'm a warrior.
7) You need to have purpose in life. Under the purpose I mean constructive and SMART goal that you want to achieve. I don't care if sounds to AIESECish. Seriously I DON'T CARE
I truly believe that only in this way you can achieve success in your professional life and personal development. And don't tell me that it is too European approach, I just know that it works. On this I'm working on right now. India helped me to come with this resolution!
8) You need to keep dreaming and follow your dream. Those who are saying that dreaming is task only for children are too old to understand beauty of life!when you are dreaming, you understand how magical is every day. When you are dreaming, you start seeing miracle in your daily routine. And finally when you are dreaming you see that impossible is nothing! That only limit is sky! And now, the most important part comes! YOU NEED TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!!!! When you are dreaming with all your heart, Universe can feel it, and it starts to help you. The most important is to see and use those chances that you will be offered. Don't waste your time on regretting about the past. Don't waste your time in searching complicated solutions. Genius ideas are usually so simple! And follow your dreams! Because if you will not do it, you will start to be pessimistic in life approach, you will start seeing shit around you that will bother your mind. Free yourself from this nonsense! Live full life!
This ideas about dreams came to me here, in India. I realised that I stopped dreaming, because all my dreams at that moment came true. I'm a Fullbright finalist, I came to India for internship that I was always dreaming about, I'm living completely independent life. All my dreams at that moment came true. And as I said before I stopped dreaming. Well, some small stuff like having a long white skirt were still in my mind, but it its nothing in comparison with Master program in USA. So, now realising this,I start to dream again :)
9) Do at least one crazy thing. Do something that much crazy, that you will always remember. Something, that when you will be thinking about it you will always smile and say to yourself: " How stupid I was to do it, but how cool I felt that moment!" Probably you will never tell about this situation to your children, probably you will never tell it neither to your mum nor to your husband/wife, but you will always think about it with slight proud and satisfaction of yourself!Frankly speaking, I did. And a lot :)))
10) Have a passion in Life. This passion is very personal stuff. For someone it might be fighting with terrorism in a specific country and for someone it is carrying about his/her family. I know people that found passion because of AIESEC and I know people that found it just because good self-reflection and search. It is up to you, how you will find it, but you need to do it! Without having passion, your life is not that colourful as it may be, it is not that much extraordinary and glorious it is not that much eventful. Yes, for sure, you can live your life without it. Yes, you can go to the work and do your tasks there, you can meet different people and even you can be satisfied with it, But just imagine! Just imagine how your life can change when you will have this damn passion!!!!!! Just imagine how extraordinary your life can be, how many new ideas may come to your mind, how many proper(not random) people you can meet!!! Your life will stop being a mixture of random dots. They will unite under one lucky star, that will lead you in life!
Concerning this last 10th point. I thought that I have this passion. I thought that I unite all the dots properly. But being in India, new thought came to me, new dimensions of already existing brand - Yulia Mikhed, started to appear. And my mind-flow, my perception of life and my passion in it stated to change. Now, I'm on way of search. But I have believe. I know that I will successed. Because I'm following my dreams :)
1) You need to fall in love. Great love, that will lead you in every action, every thought, every idea. Love, that will overflow you with new feelings, emotions and images. Love that you will always remember, because most probably it will be your first love. I had it.
2) You need to have one friend that can die for you and can die for him/her. This should a person, whom you can call at 3 am and first thing that you will hear as reply, will not be: What da fuck? Have you seen what time is it now? But you will hear: What happened? How can I help you? Maybe, this person will not have time to hang-out with you every Friday in the cafe, but this person will always meet you in the airport/railway station/bus stand, when you will come home. I had it.
3) You need to have a country, except your own Motherland, that you will always dream about. For sure, you need to visit it and than afterwards always remind yourself about that trip.About feelings and emotions that were over bursting from you during this 10/20/120 days that you've spend in that country. You need to be inspired by people, that are living there, by unique culture, by outstanding architecture/museums, you need to fall in love with nature and sight views of this country. I have it. And not one :)
4) You need to love you Motherland. Not for the political leaders, or for economical system, not for resources or facilities that you can get. BUT for people, history, identity and national spirit. I do!. I'm proud to be Ukrainian.
5) You need to have one Biggest failure and one Biggest success. With you experience this two feelings, you know that there are two poles in the world. You know that you can be king of the moment and you can be complete full next time. After feeling THIS you start to think in long-term perspective. You start to realise that every your step might have a such result in your life, that probably never expect to have. I think I had it.Sometimes even too much of both of them
6) You need to have good relations in your family.It doesn't matter how big your family is. Or you are living with 13 brothers and sisters, or your family is just your mum. You need to have good relations between each other. I know that sometimes it might be hard. I know that sometimes it looks almost impossible, but we need to strive for excellence and we need to achieve it. I can't say that I always have it, but I will strive, because I'm a warrior.
7) You need to have purpose in life. Under the purpose I mean constructive and SMART goal that you want to achieve. I don't care if sounds to AIESECish. Seriously I DON'T CARE
I truly believe that only in this way you can achieve success in your professional life and personal development. And don't tell me that it is too European approach, I just know that it works. On this I'm working on right now. India helped me to come with this resolution!
8) You need to keep dreaming and follow your dream. Those who are saying that dreaming is task only for children are too old to understand beauty of life!when you are dreaming, you understand how magical is every day. When you are dreaming, you start seeing miracle in your daily routine. And finally when you are dreaming you see that impossible is nothing! That only limit is sky! And now, the most important part comes! YOU NEED TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!!!! When you are dreaming with all your heart, Universe can feel it, and it starts to help you. The most important is to see and use those chances that you will be offered. Don't waste your time on regretting about the past. Don't waste your time in searching complicated solutions. Genius ideas are usually so simple! And follow your dreams! Because if you will not do it, you will start to be pessimistic in life approach, you will start seeing shit around you that will bother your mind. Free yourself from this nonsense! Live full life!
This ideas about dreams came to me here, in India. I realised that I stopped dreaming, because all my dreams at that moment came true. I'm a Fullbright finalist, I came to India for internship that I was always dreaming about, I'm living completely independent life. All my dreams at that moment came true. And as I said before I stopped dreaming. Well, some small stuff like having a long white skirt were still in my mind, but it its nothing in comparison with Master program in USA. So, now realising this,I start to dream again :)
9) Do at least one crazy thing. Do something that much crazy, that you will always remember. Something, that when you will be thinking about it you will always smile and say to yourself: " How stupid I was to do it, but how cool I felt that moment!" Probably you will never tell about this situation to your children, probably you will never tell it neither to your mum nor to your husband/wife, but you will always think about it with slight proud and satisfaction of yourself!Frankly speaking, I did. And a lot :)))
10) Have a passion in Life. This passion is very personal stuff. For someone it might be fighting with terrorism in a specific country and for someone it is carrying about his/her family. I know people that found passion because of AIESEC and I know people that found it just because good self-reflection and search. It is up to you, how you will find it, but you need to do it! Without having passion, your life is not that colourful as it may be, it is not that much extraordinary and glorious it is not that much eventful. Yes, for sure, you can live your life without it. Yes, you can go to the work and do your tasks there, you can meet different people and even you can be satisfied with it, But just imagine! Just imagine how your life can change when you will have this damn passion!!!!!! Just imagine how extraordinary your life can be, how many new ideas may come to your mind, how many proper(not random) people you can meet!!! Your life will stop being a mixture of random dots. They will unite under one lucky star, that will lead you in life!
Concerning this last 10th point. I thought that I have this passion. I thought that I unite all the dots properly. But being in India, new thought came to me, new dimensions of already existing brand - Yulia Mikhed, started to appear. And my mind-flow, my perception of life and my passion in it stated to change. Now, I'm on way of search. But I have believe. I know that I will successed. Because I'm following my dreams :)
среда, 18 февраля 2009 г.
My personal pride - GEP event
As I started to have so many readers of my blog, that can't understand Russian, I will try to write majority of my posts in English starting from this day.
This Sunday AIESEC in Chandigarh organized mega huge event. It was a promotional activity for Global Entrepreneurs Program. We were planning to have 500 people during this event as a result we had 300, but in any case, where in Ukraine, you've seen event for non-aiesecers, where will be 300 participants? I personally haven't seen it.
As usually preparation for this event was in Indian style, so it means that everything was done last moment, but this time with slight Ukrainian influence :)
That's why, when event was planned on Sunday I started to prepare sessions on Thursday :)
This event was in lot's of things new for me. First of all, it was first external event for me in India. Second of all, it was first time that I was agenda manager, and here meaning of this position is a bit different. Here, I was creating all sessions for this event. But I liked it a lot.
I was working non-stop for session preparation for 3 days. It was hard work, but it worth it :) I think that I achieved top of this process,on Saturday aka Valentines day.When all normal people were celebrating this holiday, I went to the work, because as usually we are working on Saturday, than I ran for EBM, than we checked venue and than I started final preparation and clarification. I finished all of this at 3 am. So, as you can see, my Valentines day was totally in AIESEC style :)
Than in the morning, my geaser decided that he is more important than GEP event and stopped working, so I had completely cold shower :) It was extreme experience :) And after that I think that I made a miracle in efficiency of personal preparation - in 15 minutes I dressed up, dried my hair, and started to put make up. See!! I was also impressed :)
And when we came to the venue it all started. First I was a bit worrying about it. When I was delivering faci meeting I was worrying a bit. Even started to forget English words :) But than I felt that I'm in my stream and I started to act according internal signs and it was great.
Whole event passed perfectly. No fuck-ups, no problems with OC, few modifications of agenda, but generally it was great.
When it all finished I was so proud of myself. Because I helped this event to be in the reality and because I worked with incredible people in one team!
I love my life here! It is simply amazing!
This Sunday AIESEC in Chandigarh organized mega huge event. It was a promotional activity for Global Entrepreneurs Program. We were planning to have 500 people during this event as a result we had 300, but in any case, where in Ukraine, you've seen event for non-aiesecers, where will be 300 participants? I personally haven't seen it.
As usually preparation for this event was in Indian style, so it means that everything was done last moment, but this time with slight Ukrainian influence :)
That's why, when event was planned on Sunday I started to prepare sessions on Thursday :)
This event was in lot's of things new for me. First of all, it was first external event for me in India. Second of all, it was first time that I was agenda manager, and here meaning of this position is a bit different. Here, I was creating all sessions for this event. But I liked it a lot.
I was working non-stop for session preparation for 3 days. It was hard work, but it worth it :) I think that I achieved top of this process,on Saturday aka Valentines day.When all normal people were celebrating this holiday, I went to the work, because as usually we are working on Saturday, than I ran for EBM, than we checked venue and than I started final preparation and clarification. I finished all of this at 3 am. So, as you can see, my Valentines day was totally in AIESEC style :)
Than in the morning, my geaser decided that he is more important than GEP event and stopped working, so I had completely cold shower :) It was extreme experience :) And after that I think that I made a miracle in efficiency of personal preparation - in 15 minutes I dressed up, dried my hair, and started to put make up. See!! I was also impressed :)
And when we came to the venue it all started. First I was a bit worrying about it. When I was delivering faci meeting I was worrying a bit. Even started to forget English words :) But than I felt that I'm in my stream and I started to act according internal signs and it was great.
Whole event passed perfectly. No fuck-ups, no problems with OC, few modifications of agenda, but generally it was great.
When it all finished I was so proud of myself. Because I helped this event to be in the reality and because I worked with incredible people in one team!
I love my life here! It is simply amazing!
вторник, 17 февраля 2009 г.
Я люблю тебя, МАМА!!!!
В своем блоге я посвящала посты только тем людям, которые что-то значили для меня. Хотя лучше сказать, я посвящала их тем, которые значили много для меня. И как-то так получилось, что за всю историю этого блога я не написла поста, который бы посвящался самому важному и дорогому для меня человеку: Моей МАМЕ!
И названия я выбрала для этого поста именно такое,неспроста! Прежде чем писать этот пост, я хочу скать ей: "Я ЛЮБЛЮ ТЕБЯ, МАМА!!!!"
Я люблю тебя, во-первых за то, что ты дала мне жизнь, во-вторых за то, что воспитала меня человеком, а в-третих за то, что всегда была рядом!
Ты всегда знаешь, что нужно делать в той или иной ситуации. У тебя всегда готово решение на любой их моих кризисов. Ты знаешь, как утешить и как развеселить меня. И за это я так тебе благодарна. Ты всегда была блтже, чем кто-либо другой, ты всегда понимала лучше, чем кто-либо другой!
Если бы не ты, то я бы ничего не достигла в жизни. Я бы не увидела Берлин, Париж, Амстердам, Стамбул, Москву, Братиславу, Белград, Дели и всю Украину. я бы не попала в университет и не получила диплом бакалавра, я бы не попала в АЙСЕК и не провела бы тут неимоверных 3.5 года. Я бы не знала многих радостей жизни.
Если бы тебя не было рядом, я бы никогда не узнала, что такое трепетная забота матери, когда ты болеешь, я бы не узнала как решить и половину своих проблем и трудностей, просто потому что у меня нет такого жизненного опыта, багажа знаний и даже персональных контактов, как есть у тебя.
Если бы тебя не было рядом у меня бы не было всех Дней Рождений, всех пятничных проходов на пицу, хождения в кино на твое День Рождения и у меня бы никогда не было такого замечательного учителя - ЖИЗНИ!!!!
Мама, прости меня, если я не всегда говорила тебе, то как ситуация выглядит на самом деле. Не подумай, что я делала это из-за внутреней бровады. Нет, просто я не хотела тебя разочаровать. Я знаю, что не всегда соответствую твоим стандартам, просто потому что они порой слишком высоки для меня. Самой большой трагедией в моей жизни будет твое разочарование во мне, как в дочери, как в человеке. Я старалась строить свою жизни так, чтобы ты была мной довольна, чтобы ты могла с гордостью сказать: "Посмотрите, это моя дочка! И я ней горжусь!"
И в тоже время я знаю, что делала много ошибок и знаю, что буду их еще делать. Но знаешь, что мне всегда в тебе восхищало? Нет? Твое Умение прошать! Когда ты говорила фразы: " Я же тебя все равно прощу потому что ты частичка меня", я всегда чувствовала себя последней засранкой, потому что наверно Я часто ней и была. Но после этого, я всегда старалась исправиться, потому что я знала, что моя мама меня простит, потому что она в меня верит.
Так вот сейчас я тоже хочу сказать: " Прости меня мама, что я такая засранка!!!" Я знаю, что сделала достаточно ошибок тут! Я знаю, что часто была не права. Но в то же время я знаю, ЧТО надо изменить, и я знаю, КАК это сделать. А еще потому, мам, что во мне теплиться огонек надежды, что ты мне наконец-то поверишь.
Потому что ты мне верила всегда и потому что ты понимала меня как никто другой!
Я закончу этот пост той же фразой, что и начинала его:
Я ЛЮБЛЮ ТЕБЯ МАМА!!!!
Спасибо, что ты у меня есть! И я очень надеюсь, что ты меня простишь!
И названия я выбрала для этого поста именно такое,неспроста! Прежде чем писать этот пост, я хочу скать ей: "Я ЛЮБЛЮ ТЕБЯ, МАМА!!!!"
Я люблю тебя, во-первых за то, что ты дала мне жизнь, во-вторых за то, что воспитала меня человеком, а в-третих за то, что всегда была рядом!
Ты всегда знаешь, что нужно делать в той или иной ситуации. У тебя всегда готово решение на любой их моих кризисов. Ты знаешь, как утешить и как развеселить меня. И за это я так тебе благодарна. Ты всегда была блтже, чем кто-либо другой, ты всегда понимала лучше, чем кто-либо другой!
Если бы не ты, то я бы ничего не достигла в жизни. Я бы не увидела Берлин, Париж, Амстердам, Стамбул, Москву, Братиславу, Белград, Дели и всю Украину. я бы не попала в университет и не получила диплом бакалавра, я бы не попала в АЙСЕК и не провела бы тут неимоверных 3.5 года. Я бы не знала многих радостей жизни.
Если бы тебя не было рядом, я бы никогда не узнала, что такое трепетная забота матери, когда ты болеешь, я бы не узнала как решить и половину своих проблем и трудностей, просто потому что у меня нет такого жизненного опыта, багажа знаний и даже персональных контактов, как есть у тебя.
Если бы тебя не было рядом у меня бы не было всех Дней Рождений, всех пятничных проходов на пицу, хождения в кино на твое День Рождения и у меня бы никогда не было такого замечательного учителя - ЖИЗНИ!!!!
Мама, прости меня, если я не всегда говорила тебе, то как ситуация выглядит на самом деле. Не подумай, что я делала это из-за внутреней бровады. Нет, просто я не хотела тебя разочаровать. Я знаю, что не всегда соответствую твоим стандартам, просто потому что они порой слишком высоки для меня. Самой большой трагедией в моей жизни будет твое разочарование во мне, как в дочери, как в человеке. Я старалась строить свою жизни так, чтобы ты была мной довольна, чтобы ты могла с гордостью сказать: "Посмотрите, это моя дочка! И я ней горжусь!"
И в тоже время я знаю, что делала много ошибок и знаю, что буду их еще делать. Но знаешь, что мне всегда в тебе восхищало? Нет? Твое Умение прошать! Когда ты говорила фразы: " Я же тебя все равно прощу потому что ты частичка меня", я всегда чувствовала себя последней засранкой, потому что наверно Я часто ней и была. Но после этого, я всегда старалась исправиться, потому что я знала, что моя мама меня простит, потому что она в меня верит.
Так вот сейчас я тоже хочу сказать: " Прости меня мама, что я такая засранка!!!" Я знаю, что сделала достаточно ошибок тут! Я знаю, что часто была не права. Но в то же время я знаю, ЧТО надо изменить, и я знаю, КАК это сделать. А еще потому, мам, что во мне теплиться огонек надежды, что ты мне наконец-то поверишь.
Потому что ты мне верила всегда и потому что ты понимала меня как никто другой!
Я закончу этот пост той же фразой, что и начинала его:
Я ЛЮБЛЮ ТЕБЯ МАМА!!!!
Спасибо, что ты у меня есть! И я очень надеюсь, что ты меня простишь!
суббота, 14 февраля 2009 г.
Мысли вслух
Мне так много хочеться всего сказать, а не получаеться. У меня столько всего случаеться каждый день, что просто перестаешь это замечать. Меня здесь настолько любят, что я просто удивляюсь как я могла жить без этого раньше.И такие вещи как постоянные улыбки, обнимашки и рол-кол с моим именем стали для меня нормальными вешами.
Мне никогда никогда не хотелось уехать с Индии за все это время, что я тут. Наверно потому что, во-первых быть родом с Украины означает уметь выжить во всех ситуациях и со всеми людьми, а во вторых у меня тут сразу появились друзья. У меня сразу появились люди с которыми можно было весело провести время и в также спокойно радоваться жизни :)
Я так часто слышу от стажеров фразы типа: "Как можно выжить в доме, где двери в ванной не закрываються?" или например: "Как это можно пользоваться сливным бачком, в котором сломана крышка?"
Да вот нормально так ними и можно пользоваться. Двери если сильно припереть ногой можно закрыть, а без крышки бачок тоже преотлично работает.
Я была в Европе и я видела как можно жить на самом деле. Я видела неимоверно расфуфыренную Москву и Стамбул,так что говорить, что я не видела ничего нормального и приличного тоже нельзя. Индия - 12 страна, кототую я посещаю. В тоже время я знала куда я еду. Я знала, что я еду в Индию, а не в Рим на стажировку. Я видела фотки этого дома, хотя они были так прилично не апдейнуты :), но все же.
А может быть это я слишком мужицкая или грубая? Но просто мне кажеться лучше не обращать внимания на такие мелочи, как штукатурка, которая свисает с потолка и наслаждаться жизнью в Индии, потому что неизвестно или у меня будет еше второй шанс все это прожить!
А еще у меня классная команда. Им довольно непривычно работать в одной команде со стажером, но они начинают уже привыкать ко мне,а я к ним :) И это главное. У меня классный Джоб Дискрипшен и меня прет работать по 6 часов в сутки только на АЙСЕК. Я снова нашла себя в этой организиции.
А еще мне повезло с мальчиком, с которым пытаюсь строить какие-то отношения. Как я уже говорилаЮ это наверно самые трудные мои международные отношения. Скорее всего культурных различий слишком много. Но в этом есть своя изюминка :) И пока мы еще не той стадии, когда готовы учиться привыкать. Поживем увидем. Только не хочу чтобы снова было мучительно больно уезжать.
Вот только есть одна вешь которая меня огорчает. Я скучаю по маме, а она оооооочень сильно по мне. И ничего мы с этим не можем сделать. Потому что я хочу еще быть в Индии, а она хочет, чтобы я уже ехала домой. Вот так и живем, споря при каждом телефонном звонке.
А завтра я буду проводить ивент на 500 людей. Так как я отвечаю за адженду, то я прописала все сессии для фасиком и должна буду следить за всем ОС :)))
Хахаха. Ну чувствую завтра индусы будут учиться тайм менеджменту :)
Я люблю свою жизнь :)
Мне никогда никогда не хотелось уехать с Индии за все это время, что я тут. Наверно потому что, во-первых быть родом с Украины означает уметь выжить во всех ситуациях и со всеми людьми, а во вторых у меня тут сразу появились друзья. У меня сразу появились люди с которыми можно было весело провести время и в также спокойно радоваться жизни :)
Я так часто слышу от стажеров фразы типа: "Как можно выжить в доме, где двери в ванной не закрываються?" или например: "Как это можно пользоваться сливным бачком, в котором сломана крышка?"
Да вот нормально так ними и можно пользоваться. Двери если сильно припереть ногой можно закрыть, а без крышки бачок тоже преотлично работает.
Я была в Европе и я видела как можно жить на самом деле. Я видела неимоверно расфуфыренную Москву и Стамбул,так что говорить, что я не видела ничего нормального и приличного тоже нельзя. Индия - 12 страна, кототую я посещаю. В тоже время я знала куда я еду. Я знала, что я еду в Индию, а не в Рим на стажировку. Я видела фотки этого дома, хотя они были так прилично не апдейнуты :), но все же.
А может быть это я слишком мужицкая или грубая? Но просто мне кажеться лучше не обращать внимания на такие мелочи, как штукатурка, которая свисает с потолка и наслаждаться жизнью в Индии, потому что неизвестно или у меня будет еше второй шанс все это прожить!
А еще у меня классная команда. Им довольно непривычно работать в одной команде со стажером, но они начинают уже привыкать ко мне,а я к ним :) И это главное. У меня классный Джоб Дискрипшен и меня прет работать по 6 часов в сутки только на АЙСЕК. Я снова нашла себя в этой организиции.
А еще мне повезло с мальчиком, с которым пытаюсь строить какие-то отношения. Как я уже говорилаЮ это наверно самые трудные мои международные отношения. Скорее всего культурных различий слишком много. Но в этом есть своя изюминка :) И пока мы еще не той стадии, когда готовы учиться привыкать. Поживем увидем. Только не хочу чтобы снова было мучительно больно уезжать.
Вот только есть одна вешь которая меня огорчает. Я скучаю по маме, а она оооооочень сильно по мне. И ничего мы с этим не можем сделать. Потому что я хочу еще быть в Индии, а она хочет, чтобы я уже ехала домой. Вот так и живем, споря при каждом телефонном звонке.
А завтра я буду проводить ивент на 500 людей. Так как я отвечаю за адженду, то я прописала все сессии для фасиком и должна буду следить за всем ОС :)))
Хахаха. Ну чувствую завтра индусы будут учиться тайм менеджменту :)
Я люблю свою жизнь :)
среда, 28 января 2009 г.
Cultural sensitivity
Well, probably everyone who is reading my blog during this period of my life knows that at this very moment I'm living my life-challenging experience in land of magic - India. And as well, you probably know that here I'm living in crappy intern's house with several more people. All of them are very special, each of them is unique and representing not only different culture, but also different personal life style. Some of us like to party a lot, others prefer to sleep whole day and kill unique moments that they are having in this country, some us prefer to work 24 hours per day and not do anything else except it. I can understand that it depends only on personal goals for this internship as well as life priorities. I can understand everything. So, than, why none wants to understand me???? My personal goals, my personal priorities???
A?? Tell me?
Why all this people in our house are talking soooooo much about cultural sensitivity and at the same time they don't want to do even a small thing like washing dishes after themselves or throwing garbage into the garbage bag and not ON it? How they allow themselves to say that India is the biggest racist country in the world, when they been only in Chandigarh and whole day they are just sleeping in their bed and doing completely nothing??? A???? Tell me?
Maybe I'm stupid and I can't get something crucial about that FUCKING CULTURAL SENSITIVITY? Maybe I'm asking too much from people around me? Maybe Wikipedia or Google are bullshiting about it's definition? Or maybe people who were 5-6 years in AIESEC and travelled whole world and have friend, true friends in every country, taught me some different definition of this term?
Being here for 2 months I never said even a word that might heart other nation, maybe I was saying rude things about specific person, yes, I know that I have this in my character. I know that and that's why I'm not disagreeing about that, but I NEVER EVER said something intolerant or culturally non-sensitive to people with whom I'm living with or to Indians that I'm surrounded here every day. So, why do I need to here that? As well, I never judged people for their behaviour here, especially about their personal life. If they prefer to have one-night-stand, it is their choice, if they are striving for long-term relationship with Indians, with other interns, as well, it is their choice. So, than why they are judging me? If they are excepting my attitude with such a big gratefulness?
Than why do I need to feet in THEIR standards of proper behaviour? Why I can't have the same attitude that I'm showing to them? Why every time I need to find excuses about alcohol that I'm drinking and people with whom I'm hanging out here? Because for them I'm looking like alcoholic and easy-picked up girl? Why can't they be a bit more open minded? Or simply not to look on me through their stereotypes?
As I see the see the situation right now is that people are playing with the term of cultural sensitivity. They are using it n the way that is more comfortable for them.
When they are doing some shit, they want to make themself pure and innocent, when I'm fighting with them I hear such kind of reply: "Yulia, you are not understanding, we are all from different countries, from different cultures.You need to be more tolerant to us!"
If you want me to act with you culturally sensitive, please act like the same with me and stop making your stupid remarks about me drinking alcohol and people with whom I'm hanging out here! As well, stop pleasing messing up around not to disturb other people around you!
Angry (R-r-r-r-r-r-r)
вторник, 20 января 2009 г.
Трудные решения
Боже до чего же трудно принимать решения в этой жизни!
Вот скажи почему это так сложно пирнимать решение, оставаться в Индии или ехать домой. Тут меня держит несколько вещей. Например сраная ответственность перед людьми, которые выбрали меня в ЕБ. Мне нужно выполнять обязательства, которые я взяла на себя. Потом работа. Ну какой вес будет иметь в СВ фраза про то, что я работала 3 месяца на компании, когда я имела возможность сказать, що работала там 6 месяцев? Так вот и я о том же. А еще начала налаживаться личная жизнь. Черт бы все это побрал!!!!!!
И в тоже время мне надо домой. Там одна мама, с двумя стариками на руках. У обоих Альцгеймер, а это дохуя как сложно быть с ними, когда они в таком состоянии. А еще мне мама только что написала, что бабушку положили в больницу с кишечным кровотечением. У нее или опухоль или полипы. Будут оперировать завтра. Черт, как я могу быть здесь, когда я так нужна там? Как я могу говорить про какую-то личную жизнь, когда у меня бабушка потихоньку умирает?
Что мне делать?
Вот скажи почему это так сложно пирнимать решение, оставаться в Индии или ехать домой. Тут меня держит несколько вещей. Например сраная ответственность перед людьми, которые выбрали меня в ЕБ. Мне нужно выполнять обязательства, которые я взяла на себя. Потом работа. Ну какой вес будет иметь в СВ фраза про то, что я работала 3 месяца на компании, когда я имела возможность сказать, що работала там 6 месяцев? Так вот и я о том же. А еще начала налаживаться личная жизнь. Черт бы все это побрал!!!!!!
И в тоже время мне надо домой. Там одна мама, с двумя стариками на руках. У обоих Альцгеймер, а это дохуя как сложно быть с ними, когда они в таком состоянии. А еще мне мама только что написала, что бабушку положили в больницу с кишечным кровотечением. У нее или опухоль или полипы. Будут оперировать завтра. Черт, как я могу быть здесь, когда я так нужна там? Как я могу говорить про какую-то личную жизнь, когда у меня бабушка потихоньку умирает?
Что мне делать?
понедельник, 19 января 2009 г.
Характер
Блин, та что ж это такое???!!!!
Ну просто рекорд. За два последних дня меня довели уже дважды. Давно со мной такого не случалось!
Но сегодня это ж просто капец. Девочка из Ганы, с котроя я живу в одной комнате не разговаривает со мной целую неделю Все это время я пыталась вытянуть ее на разговор в чем же, суко дело, но она как настоящий партизан, стойко держалась. Поэтому сегодня я решила проявить креативность и решила поговорить с ней в он-лайн. Иногда людям бывает легче написать чем сказать в лицо. Правильно сделала, ноды было раньше так поумничать. Так вот она мне сказала, что не разговаривала со мной все это время, потому что я на нее кричу. Ну прикиньте? Да она еще не слышала как я могу кричать. Возможно я и повысила голос когда с ней разговаривала, но это только потому что она не закрывает входные двери в нашу квартиру, а меня уж раз обокрали и я не хочу чтобы такая милая ситуация повторилась ;) С меня и одного раза хватило. И потом я повысила на нее голос когда я больше не могла терпеть того, что когда она ресчесываеться,то бросает волосы напол и в конечном итоге мои шлепанцы были в ее волосах, хорошо хоть волосы с головы, а не с другого места, хотя наверняка знать не могу.
Ну а теперь она мне говорит, что у меня скверный характер.
Блин, я знаю, что бываю не сдержана, знаю, что могу нахамить или нагрубить, но я никогда не делаю это без причины. НИКОГДА!!!! Потому что я уважаю мнение других людей и пытаюсь не нарушать их внутренее спокойствие. Но когда они переходят рамки моей культурной лояльности, я терпеть не собираюсь.
Ладно, выводы на будущее:
КОНТРОЛИРОВАТЬ СВОИ ЭМОЦИИ. ПРИ ЧЕМ СТАРАТЬСЯ БОЛЬШЕ ЧЕМ СЕЙЧАС!
Ну просто рекорд. За два последних дня меня довели уже дважды. Давно со мной такого не случалось!
Но сегодня это ж просто капец. Девочка из Ганы, с котроя я живу в одной комнате не разговаривает со мной целую неделю Все это время я пыталась вытянуть ее на разговор в чем же, суко дело, но она как настоящий партизан, стойко держалась. Поэтому сегодня я решила проявить креативность и решила поговорить с ней в он-лайн. Иногда людям бывает легче написать чем сказать в лицо. Правильно сделала, ноды было раньше так поумничать. Так вот она мне сказала, что не разговаривала со мной все это время, потому что я на нее кричу. Ну прикиньте? Да она еще не слышала как я могу кричать. Возможно я и повысила голос когда с ней разговаривала, но это только потому что она не закрывает входные двери в нашу квартиру, а меня уж раз обокрали и я не хочу чтобы такая милая ситуация повторилась ;) С меня и одного раза хватило. И потом я повысила на нее голос когда я больше не могла терпеть того, что когда она ресчесываеться,то бросает волосы напол и в конечном итоге мои шлепанцы были в ее волосах, хорошо хоть волосы с головы, а не с другого места, хотя наверняка знать не могу.
Ну а теперь она мне говорит, что у меня скверный характер.
Блин, я знаю, что бываю не сдержана, знаю, что могу нахамить или нагрубить, но я никогда не делаю это без причины. НИКОГДА!!!! Потому что я уважаю мнение других людей и пытаюсь не нарушать их внутренее спокойствие. Но когда они переходят рамки моей культурной лояльности, я терпеть не собираюсь.
Ладно, выводы на будущее:
КОНТРОЛИРОВАТЬ СВОИ ЭМОЦИИ. ПРИ ЧЕМ СТАРАТЬСЯ БОЛЬШЕ ЧЕМ СЕЙЧАС!
четверг, 15 января 2009 г.
ठुर्स्दय mood
I don´t know what is going on with this blog, but sometimes it just strat to write in Hindi or in Punjab, I can´t distinguish them. So, the topic of my post is Thursday mood and not that something that appeared up there :)
I don´t know what is going on with me. Today or even few last days I feel myself weird. I know that I need to work hard and persisitant to achieve few goals that are in front of me and I´m really doing that, but nothing happens. I don´t see results that I´m expecting. Things are not going in the way they are planed.
I´m working sooooo hard on my work and I´m not getting that fucking information. I´m doing my best inpreparation for that damn GRE and I have low score!!!!
What is the matter with me? I don´t want to hear that it is diminishion law, because I don´t believe in it and I knwo that all in this life is depending on person. If I don´t want to get up at 8 and I´m not doing that, I´m responsible for being late for the work. That´s why I´m sitting their additional hour or even two. Because I feel responsible about every fucking thing that I´m doing in this life. And I know that right now I´m working hard and I want to see results of that work, because in other case what is the purpose of my work, my preparation for GRE????? I want to see the results!!!!!
And there is one more thing that is disturbing me for a few days. Í was thinking a lot about the relationship and why I´m can´t find my second half or whatever. And today I realized. That maybe I´m trying to see that second half in every guy that I´m considering attractive for myself? And I´m not talking now about the appearence, because it is not that much important for me, I´m talking about attractiveness in general.
Probably I need to be more accurate in my choices, as well I need to control my behaviour at least at some exceptable standarts.
I don´t know what is going on with me. Today or even few last days I feel myself weird. I know that I need to work hard and persisitant to achieve few goals that are in front of me and I´m really doing that, but nothing happens. I don´t see results that I´m expecting. Things are not going in the way they are planed.
I´m working sooooo hard on my work and I´m not getting that fucking information. I´m doing my best inpreparation for that damn GRE and I have low score!!!!
What is the matter with me? I don´t want to hear that it is diminishion law, because I don´t believe in it and I knwo that all in this life is depending on person. If I don´t want to get up at 8 and I´m not doing that, I´m responsible for being late for the work. That´s why I´m sitting their additional hour or even two. Because I feel responsible about every fucking thing that I´m doing in this life. And I know that right now I´m working hard and I want to see results of that work, because in other case what is the purpose of my work, my preparation for GRE????? I want to see the results!!!!!
And there is one more thing that is disturbing me for a few days. Í was thinking a lot about the relationship and why I´m can´t find my second half or whatever. And today I realized. That maybe I´m trying to see that second half in every guy that I´m considering attractive for myself? And I´m not talking now about the appearence, because it is not that much important for me, I´m talking about attractiveness in general.
Probably I need to be more accurate in my choices, as well I need to control my behaviour at least at some exceptable standarts.
понедельник, 12 января 2009 г.
Грустно и хочу домой
Так грустно стало. До невозможности захотелось сейчас домой. А там увижу маму и всех-всех моих друзей.Там снова буду бродить по извилистым узким улицам самого дорогого и самого близкого мне по духу города, мого славетного Міста Левів. Там я снова смогу пойти в Зоротой Дукат и Дзигу, там я снова буду пить пиво в Кабинете. Там снова будут все те дебильные шутки и нежданные долго- и коротко-срочные гости у меня дома. И снова повторюсь, что там будет мама. Она будет готовить мне кушать и стрирать мою одежду, она будет выслушивать мое нытье по утрам и вечерам и еще она всегда будет знать что делать в любой ситуации. А еще там будет Настя. И мы снова будем устраивать наши муви найты и просто вечера - ночи утра трепа ни о чем, про мужчин, про мужчин и про мужчин. Там будет вкусная еда и хорошое пиво. Там будет ванна и моя родная постель, а еще там будет мой компютер и все мои фильмы/книги/презентации на нем. Там будет мой кот, который будет будить меня по утрам,чтобы я его покормила и там будет столько дорогих моему сердцу вешей!
Вообшем мне очень грустно и я очень хочу домой!
Вообшем мне очень грустно и я очень хочу домой!
пятница, 9 января 2009 г.
Вещи, которые меня поражают в Индии
Пока живешь в этой стране, то к очень многому привыкаешь, потому что иначе нельзя. И даже наврено дело не в том,что иначе нельзя, а в том, что ты просто уже не хамечаешь этого. Например, для меня уже очень даже нормально ездить на рикше и не обрашать внимания на то, как на меня паляться на улице. Просто привыкла.
Но все таки еще остаються вещи которые меня удивляют :)) И это хорошо.
Например строительство/реконструкция дорог.
Вся эта процедура происходит следующим образом:
Сначала они разрывают всю дорогу на несколько недель и ставят крпичи по бокам для того, чтобы показать,что на самом деле они то все таки что-то делают. После того как прошло указанное время начинаються подготовительные мероприятия: 4-5 постоянно кричаших что-то на своем языке женщин подметают дорогу. При этом они все вермя одеты в национальную одежду, которая характерна тем, что у нее длинный шлейф и поэтому когда они приседают, то шлейф заметает всю дорогу за ними. То есть, все что эти тетки недозаметали руками, дозаметает шлейф их костюма.
После этого дорога перекрываеться с двух сторон и целаю куча индусов начинает очень быстро и что самое интересное очень умело работать. В конечном итоге, дорога длинной в пару киллометров строиться за один день. Но крику, шуму и всякого остального они производят столько, что просто не передать словами.
Потом, еще одна вешь, которая меня удивляет, но не с приятной стороны.
Пару дней назад мы шли домой с одним стажером, и проходя по аллее, которая ведет к нам домой мы прошли мимо человека, который лежал на дорожке и возле него лежал велосипед. Цезарь "страшно" спешил домой, что даже не захотел остановиться и проверить все ли с ним нормально, или по краней мере проверить жив ли он.Мы прошли мимо и не остновились.Я до сих пор корю себя за это и тот мужчина периодически вспоминается мне. Но мы же были не одни на той улице. И все остальные точно также проходят мимо и не обращают на это ниикакого внимания. А зачем переживать, если у них 1,6 миллиарда населения. Надо же его куда-то девать. А вчера со мной произошла довольно схожая ситуация. Мы ехали на празднование выборов в ЕБ и когда мы поворачивали, то сбили человека на мопеде. Что меня удивило больше всего так это то, что Т.Д. даже не подумал остановиться, он даже скорость не сбавил. А когла я его спросила не желает ли он остановиться, чтобы проверить как там тот человек, то он ответил, что не хочет, чтобы его словила милиция. Я конечно все понимаю, что это не приятно, но нужно же помочь человеку?
Наверно в этом посте должно быть написано еще много-много вешей, которые отличны от Украинских реалий, но пока я его только начала ...
Но все таки еще остаються вещи которые меня удивляют :)) И это хорошо.
Например строительство/реконструкция дорог.
Вся эта процедура происходит следующим образом:
Сначала они разрывают всю дорогу на несколько недель и ставят крпичи по бокам для того, чтобы показать,что на самом деле они то все таки что-то делают. После того как прошло указанное время начинаються подготовительные мероприятия: 4-5 постоянно кричаших что-то на своем языке женщин подметают дорогу. При этом они все вермя одеты в национальную одежду, которая характерна тем, что у нее длинный шлейф и поэтому когда они приседают, то шлейф заметает всю дорогу за ними. То есть, все что эти тетки недозаметали руками, дозаметает шлейф их костюма.
После этого дорога перекрываеться с двух сторон и целаю куча индусов начинает очень быстро и что самое интересное очень умело работать. В конечном итоге, дорога длинной в пару киллометров строиться за один день. Но крику, шуму и всякого остального они производят столько, что просто не передать словами.
Потом, еще одна вешь, которая меня удивляет, но не с приятной стороны.
Пару дней назад мы шли домой с одним стажером, и проходя по аллее, которая ведет к нам домой мы прошли мимо человека, который лежал на дорожке и возле него лежал велосипед. Цезарь "страшно" спешил домой, что даже не захотел остановиться и проверить все ли с ним нормально, или по краней мере проверить жив ли он.Мы прошли мимо и не остновились.Я до сих пор корю себя за это и тот мужчина периодически вспоминается мне. Но мы же были не одни на той улице. И все остальные точно также проходят мимо и не обращают на это ниикакого внимания. А зачем переживать, если у них 1,6 миллиарда населения. Надо же его куда-то девать. А вчера со мной произошла довольно схожая ситуация. Мы ехали на празднование выборов в ЕБ и когда мы поворачивали, то сбили человека на мопеде. Что меня удивило больше всего так это то, что Т.Д. даже не подумал остановиться, он даже скорость не сбавил. А когла я его спросила не желает ли он остановиться, чтобы проверить как там тот человек, то он ответил, что не хочет, чтобы его словила милиция. Я конечно все понимаю, что это не приятно, но нужно же помочь человеку?
Наверно в этом посте должно быть написано еще много-много вешей, которые отличны от Украинских реалий, но пока я его только начала ...
суббота, 3 января 2009 г.
3th of January
I don't know how to name this post, because I don't have any specific info that I want to put, I'm starting to think that I'm using this blog for myself than for people that are reading it.
Yesterday I had an interview for the EB in AIESEC in Chandigarh.It was a bit strange feeling to sit there, in front of two LCPs, that are really cool guys, two of them are more than passionate about AIESEC and there work, and to answer their questions, to plan together my activities in AIESEC in Chandigarh and to know that now it is MY LC, not only theirs but mine as well, and I as an EB member need to develop it the way they are doing it, but in my own sphere. And it was very strange feeling when two of them stood up and said to me, that our congratulations - you are selected to be a member of EB 2009 in AIESEC n Chandigarh. At that moment I didn't know how I should react. Or should I cheer up and hug them, or should I just smile and say thank's a lot. What do I need to do? I came home very proud of myself, I came home with the feeling that I have something that I was dreaming about. Position of Vice-President.
And when I came home some routine work overloaded me - laundry,cleaning of the dishes, cooking. This are things that I need to do by myself, because I'm the only one responsible for that. And while doing that this feeling of overwhelming excitement just disappeared and I could except this fact in a more calm manner. so, yes, my friends, I'm a member of Executive Body of AIESEC in Chandigarh in 2009 with the position - Vice-President in Talent Management in the training specialization.
One more dream came true.
Today I called my mum. We were talking in a more nice manner than previously, now she is not that mush aggressive and I'm more open to get her thoughts and we are more friends than we were while quarrelling and at the same time I still see that there is gap in the relationship. Today we were talking about my staying in India till the end of May. She wasn't that much upset than she was last time, when I just mentioned about this possibility, but in any case she wasn't happy. She just said that she doesn't know how she will live without me this 3 more months. When she was saying that, my heart was crying and that moment I thought - is it right decision that I'm taking now? Is it the way my life need to go? Do I need to be so far from my mum when I had a possibility to be near her? I don't know till now, I don't have a proper answer. Every way is looking good, but how to know which one is yours?
Yesterday I had an interview for the EB in AIESEC in Chandigarh.It was a bit strange feeling to sit there, in front of two LCPs, that are really cool guys, two of them are more than passionate about AIESEC and there work, and to answer their questions, to plan together my activities in AIESEC in Chandigarh and to know that now it is MY LC, not only theirs but mine as well, and I as an EB member need to develop it the way they are doing it, but in my own sphere. And it was very strange feeling when two of them stood up and said to me, that our congratulations - you are selected to be a member of EB 2009 in AIESEC n Chandigarh. At that moment I didn't know how I should react. Or should I cheer up and hug them, or should I just smile and say thank's a lot. What do I need to do? I came home very proud of myself, I came home with the feeling that I have something that I was dreaming about. Position of Vice-President.
And when I came home some routine work overloaded me - laundry,cleaning of the dishes, cooking. This are things that I need to do by myself, because I'm the only one responsible for that. And while doing that this feeling of overwhelming excitement just disappeared and I could except this fact in a more calm manner. so, yes, my friends, I'm a member of Executive Body of AIESEC in Chandigarh in 2009 with the position - Vice-President in Talent Management in the training specialization.
One more dream came true.
Today I called my mum. We were talking in a more nice manner than previously, now she is not that mush aggressive and I'm more open to get her thoughts and we are more friends than we were while quarrelling and at the same time I still see that there is gap in the relationship. Today we were talking about my staying in India till the end of May. She wasn't that much upset than she was last time, when I just mentioned about this possibility, but in any case she wasn't happy. She just said that she doesn't know how she will live without me this 3 more months. When she was saying that, my heart was crying and that moment I thought - is it right decision that I'm taking now? Is it the way my life need to go? Do I need to be so far from my mum when I had a possibility to be near her? I don't know till now, I don't have a proper answer. Every way is looking good, but how to know which one is yours?
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